Being bored and having a television is a bad combination. You can find yourself watching things that are borderline or that you only find acceptable because “you have nothing else to do.” That being said, I have learned something important from the Nanny 911 / Supernanny combination about raising children– the parents have a whole lot more to do with it than they usually think.
The few times that I have seen this show, the nanny who has to come in to straighten out the mess finds two parents that are not on the same page as far as discipline, privileges, involvement, etc. They are either detached, the kid’s friends, or they simply do not agree and the anger between the parents shows in the children.
Godly wife, how do you and your husband relate on the issues of child rearing? We’ve talked before how the husband, as head of the home, is the one ultimately responsible for how his children come out. It is he who is tested for spiritual office on this Earth, and judged by His Heavenly Father someday.
Do you find that your ministry to your children supports his training? Do you find that it compliments and enhances his training of his children, or does it run counter to it? That language that they use that he does not want them to say, or the music that they listen to, or the things that they watch– is it the case that when he’s around there are one set of standards but when he is not there are another?
Have you unknowingly (or purposefully?!) tried to marginalizes him and his impact on your kids? You can tell this is the case by the following ways:
- Do your kids think you are the ultimate authority– appealing something dad said to you in hopes that you will say something different? Do you?
- Do you find yourself on different pages with your husband on different issues and fail to yield to his decision– especially in front of the kids?
- Do you find yourself talking derogatorily about some decision that he has made or plan he wants to follow– or are you supportive?
As the homes on the television shows demonstrate– a house runs the best when mom and dad are on the same page, are supportive of each other, and build each other up in the site of the kids. Take an evaluation of your house and life. How are you doing?
Question Idea taken from Questions for a Godly Wife
- Godly Wife: Is He Your Master?
- Godly Wife: Who Are You Seeking to Please?
- Godly Wife: Are You His Helper or His Obstacle?
- Godly Wife: Does Your Husband’s Heart Trust in You?
- Godly Wife: How Do You Handle When He is Wrong?
- Godly Wife: How do you Handle Disagreements?
- Godly Wife: How Do You Receive Correction?
- Godly Wife: Are You Drawing Him to You with Your Speech?
- Godly Wife: How Does Your Husband Grow?
- Godly Wife: Who Trains the Children?
- Godly Wife: How Do You Make Your Husband Feel?
- Godly Wife: Are You Intimately Available?
- Godly Wife: Do You Speak To Your Husband with Flattering Words?
- Godly Wife: Are You Helping Your Husband to Greater Heights?
- Godly Wife: Are You Keeping Your Wedding Vows?
- Godly Wife: Are You Openly Appreciative of Your Husband?
- Godly Wife: Do You Dominate Your Husband?
- Godly Wife: Have You Cut the Cord?
You raise a really good point. I still see hurt on my husband’s face occasionally, primarily over mistakes I made in the past. I am getting better.
This is my practice now: when dad is home, the kids have to ask him.
We were finding that they were so accustomed to asking me for permission that they would often talk or walk right past him. Ouch! So now, they just have to ask him. If he wants to consult me, he will.
The funny thing is, on many things they are much more likely to get the answer they want from their dad. 🙂
I think your comment about the parents’ responsibility is so true. Something to remember as a new mother. There’s a book out that is also very encouraging in raising Godly boys called Preparing Him for the Other Woman by Sheri Rose Shepherd. I highly suggest this for all mothers with sons. Blessings~
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Thanks for dropping by, Kelly.
You’re right– there’s a lot on us as far as both disciplining children in the way they should go and being good role models. Part of that modeling is by being the right kinds of dads and moms and showing our kids how they should react to their future spouse. Thanks for the book reference!