June 16, 2024

Godly Wife: Are You Intimately Available?

This entry is part 12 of 18 in the series Godly Wife

This is not an easy topic.  I’m sure you’re squirming reading this probably as much as I am writing this!  However, Paul has something to say here, and there is an important message to be heard.

1 Corinthians 7:3-5 spells our a husband’s and wife’s duty to one another physically stating:

Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.  The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.  Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.

There’s a lot here to soak in.

It’s the duty of the husband and wife to meet each other’s needs.

There is no room here for argument.  The husband first and then the wife are commanded to meet the physical needs of each other.  And this isn’t just the physical needs of food and clothing, but the most intimate of needs.  You came together in a vow to love, honor and cherish for the purpose of glorifying God and becoming one.  That was becoming one spiritually, emotionally and physically.  I think that it’s easy for us to focus on the first couple and miss the fact that they are a package together.  A marriage that is strong will have all three components.

The husband and the wife are not to be selfish with their bodies.

Unfortunately, we as humans are quick to learn how to push each other’s buttons to get what we want.  I see it in my two boys.  The oldest (up to this point) knew exactly what to say to get the toy he wanted from the youngest.  The youngest has since gotten smarter, though.

In marriage, sexual intimacy– because of how much pleasure and unity is derived from it– is occasionally used as a weapon to get the desires of one of the parties.  I’m sorry to say this, but let’s be blunt– it’s usually not the guys that are holding out on this one.

Do you see the point Paul is making in this passage?  Your body is not your own.  Now, I’m not saying that it’s fine for abuse to occur.  I’m not even saying that it should be there every time it is petitioned.  What I am saying is that since your body is not your own, you should be looking for ways to use that body to build up, encourage and yes, even provide pleasure to your spouse.

Abstinence in marriage is not to be something that lasts for long periods of time because it leads to temptation.

Paul says it plainly.  There is only one Biblical reason that two married people should not have consistent physical unity.  It’s for prayer and fasting for both, and the two are to come together quickly so that temptation is not allowed to take hold.

Godly Wife, are you helping your husband resist temptation by showing him that he can count on being able to delight in your love?  The attitude that you take toward being physically intimate with your spouse is going to color everything.  If it’s a hassle, he’s going to feel it.

Let’s be honest.  We live in a society out there that wants to tempt your husband in all sorts of ways.  Our sex saturated culture is selling him the idea that sex is simply for fun, that there are many willing women out there that will gladly show him a good time, and they show up in all sorts of places.

You want your man to be faithful.  You want him to love you and want to come home to you and be there to protect you.  I’m sorry to say it this bluntly, but what are you giving him to come home to?  Is the thought of being with you physically something he knows that you’ll both enjoy, or is it a chore?  If it’s the latter, well…  do something about it!

Question Idea taken from Questions for a Godly Wife

Series Navigation<< Godly Wife: How Do You Make Your Husband Feel?Godly Wife: Do You Speak To Your Husband with Flattering Words? >>
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5 thoughts on “Godly Wife: Are You Intimately Available?

  1. Okay, okay, Debi Pearl. 🙂 It’s true, it’s Biblical. So, as a wife, I have no argument. Now, to actually (ahem) practice what I ditto. Thanks for a needed reminder! (a constantly needed reminder).

  2. I just finished reading through the related posts on Godly Wife. I had missed many of them back during the holidays with the crazy schedule.

    For me, all the topics in this series are really needed in order to address the one that you posted today on intimacy. I know that if I’m not practicing all the topics you discussed…How do I handle when he’s wrong, How does my husband grow, etc. I am chipping away at my husband’s authority, masculinity, his ‘feel good’ attitude about life in general. For me, I need to be addressing all these issues in my marriage and responding correctly or the intimacy will not be there.

    Wow! That’s a tall order! So you told us to do something about it…and I will by working more on my attitude to make my husband feel loved and cherished and that he is Lord in our home. Great series on this…I’ve really enjoyed it and it has helped me to really evaluate myself and my priorities in my marriage. :heart:

  3. After 13 years of marriage you get to know a person pretty well and yep, I do know how to push my hubby’s buttons. There is one thing that I have learned a long time ago. I cannot use sex as a weapon with my husband he was person that is not easily manipulated.

  4. Haha, that Debi Pearl comment was right on! Good job, MIn, tackling this subject. I know we women need to hear it from a man’s perspective.

    I could say more, but what I’d say is kind of “women only” stuff. Suffice it to say, anyone ever participate in a “30 Day Challenge”? 😉 And http://themarriagebed.com/ is a great Christian resource for married couples. You have to be registered for their forums.

    Enjoyed everyone’s comments!

  5. I figured you would get to this subject eventually. First, I’ll say that you handled it well. It was a good post.
    Second, I’ll say that this is a major struggle for me. I would say that I do pretty fair in most areas of being a Godly wife, but what good are those things when I have such an issue in this area.
    I really need to pray about this. Thanks for reminding me how important it is.

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