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In Genesis 2, after having made all of the animals and given the task to Adam to name them all and keep the garden, God looked down on Adam and saw that he was lonely– he needed a helpmeet.
It was said that God didn’t take Eve out of Adam’s feet so that she would be his slave, nor did He take her out of his head so that he would be hers, but He took her out of his side because she would be his equal.
Women, you were created as equal in the eyes of God, but given a specific purpose– that of being his helper. You see, as you well know, men cannot live life alone. They are not equipped to handle the loneliness it brings and they are not complete without you. You both bring to the relationship something that neither of you can live without. God made it that way.
The question that we’re asking though, is: How are you doing at this? Are you his helper, or are you his obstacle? Do you encourage him onto greater spiritual heights? Do you compliment his strengths and weaknesses?
If I asked your husband for a candid answer, how would he answer? Do your actions prevent him (or your family) from being all that it could be in Christ? How do you react to his attempts at service? What roadblocks are you putting in the way?
Question Idea taken from Questions for a Godly Wife
- Godly Wife: Is He Your Master?
- Godly Wife: Who Are You Seeking to Please?
- Godly Wife: Are You His Helper or His Obstacle?
- Godly Wife: Does Your Husband’s Heart Trust in You?
- Godly Wife: How Do You Handle When He is Wrong?
- Godly Wife: How do you Handle Disagreements?
- Godly Wife: How Do You Receive Correction?
- Godly Wife: Are You Drawing Him to You with Your Speech?
- Godly Wife: How Does Your Husband Grow?
- Godly Wife: Who Trains the Children?
- Godly Wife: How Do You Make Your Husband Feel?
- Godly Wife: Are You Intimately Available?
- Godly Wife: Do You Speak To Your Husband with Flattering Words?
- Godly Wife: Are You Helping Your Husband to Greater Heights?
- Godly Wife: Are You Keeping Your Wedding Vows?
- Godly Wife: Are You Openly Appreciative of Your Husband?
- Godly Wife: Do You Dominate Your Husband?
- Godly Wife: Have You Cut the Cord?
I really dig this series.
He would say I’m his helper, but I know I could do better. He loves it that I’m happy to stay at home and homeschool the girls, that I cook him homemade meals, keep his clothes clean (he doesn’t care about having a clean house, so no white glove tests here)…etc.
Over the years in marriage, despite always saying I’d put him first, he’s slowly slid down the list of priorities. I think every marriage has bad times where the neglect becomes obvious…like a miserable pregnancy (btdt). Of course, that’s in the vows, for better or worse and in sickness and in health…but the sad thing is some of the habits formed in the bad times can tend to stick around longer than necessary. For me, during my last pregnancy, I stopped getting up at 5 AM with dh to make his lunch and send him off to work. That baby was 2 before I resumed my early morning’s with dh. He never asked me to get up with him, but I knew he missed it.
My writing has also taken away from our time together. He’s too nice to say so, but I wonder if he sometimes wishes I’d never cultivated this passion to write! I know I wish that sometimes…or that it could have been put off ten or so years till the girls were grown. I do try to write when he’s not in the house, but again, that’s not always the case.
Good questions, MIn.
Families have interesting dynamics. The passion that you have when dating is hard to maintain after the “love” feeling wears off (unless maintained, of course), and it’s even harder with children. Then comes budgets where time together gets cut out in the name of saving money and paying off debt. We really don’t prioritize building and maintaining a relationship like we should!
I strongly believe that this is why some couples have a really hard time relating after the kids are gone out of the house. We need to be making sure that we’re being Godly husbands and wives all the way though our lives.