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One of the strangest feelings I had this entire birthing process was the feeling I got when I received the second phone call telling me that my wife was going to have the baby soon. It came from the woman that was supposed to take her to the shower and ended up taking her to the hospital.
That woman, for illness reasons, was not able to stay in the delivery room with my wife, and she was calling to tell me just how close she was to giving birth and that I needed to get over there as soon as possible.
It was at that moment that I had the first tinge that I might miss my daughter’s arrival. Instead of the calm person I usually am, I started having to think through alternate plans about what to do with my kids, wondering what happened to my mother, and wondering if my wife would have the baby without me.
Godly Husband, does your very being long to be there for your family– for the big moments as well as the small ones? Do you have an internal longing to be present with them– to comfort them, to encourage them, and to make time for them.
I’ll be honest, it’s easy to have that longing for the big things. But I think that somewhere we as men start thinking more about other priorities than our family. It may start out small– the extra time spent at work, the second job to get some money, the church function or meeting that you must attend or something will fall apart.
Eventually, anything that you do continually will become a habit. You’ll find yourself with the new capability of reasoning away why you don’t have to have family meals anymore, why you don’t have to make the kids’ baseball practices or spend time with them.
Men, we need to be vigilant about how we look at our family and the time that we assign to it. We need to guard that time, see it as the precious time that it is, and prevent ourselves from looking at our wives as the enemy when she says that you’re not spending enough time with you kids. Because, let’s face it, you only have them in your home a little while. Can you really spend too much time with them?
- Godly Husband: You Must Be Born Again
- Godly Husband: Are You a Leader?
- Godly Husband: Is She Your Helper or Your Slave?
- Godly Husband: You Must be a Lover
- Godly Husband: You Must Be a Protector
- Godly Husband: Do You Do Too Much?
- Godly Husband: Using Your Perspective
- Godly Husband: What Do You Care Most About?
- Godly Husband: How Well Do You Know Your Wife?
- Godly Husband: Are You There?
- Godly Husband: How is Your Thought Life?
- Godly Husband: How Are You Treating “Your” Body
- Godly Husband: Are You Pro-Active?
- Godly Husband: Are You Precise?
- Godly Husband: Are You Keeping Your Wedding Vows?
- Godly Husband: Are You a Provider?
- Godly Husband: Do You Nourish and Cherish Your Wife?
WOW…this post really hit home for a variety of reasons. For me the small things are what would have made a difference growing up. It’s SO hard to go back twenty-eight years later. Thanks for the post.
I liked that! I think i’ll link it on my blog. 🙂
Thanks, MIn for this. I think God puts such a drive in men to be the providers, the hunters so to speak…that it really doesn’t come naturally to them to carve time out for family. My dh’s dad was a slave to his job (had to be for financial reasons) and super busy when at home, working on vehicles or whatever but he still had the patience to have his young sons tag along with him and learn at his side. I’m sure that’s why my husband is so handy at anything he touches. His dad didn’t really have the time, but he made allowances.
My maxim is: No man ever went to his death bed wishing he had spent more time at work!
And yet it’s hard– because you know that some people get ahead because they put more time in at work (and also hard if you like your work!
Good point, Stephen– and what kind of impact will that work truly have compared to what impact will your family have?
It is hard if others are getting ahead because of long hours working – but the question is whether we want to be successful in work or successful in family. In any case, long hours working causes us to be less productive. Research has shown that European workers are more productive per hour than American workers, even though American productivity is higher (because of the extremely long hours you work over there).
If I can do a good job within my contracted hours, then I can hope that this will be recognised, and my refusal to work long hours will then be ignored. Thus far I have been reasonably successful with tis strategy, although I will probably never be a politician or CEO of a multinational company 🙂