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One of the biggest needs your family– especially your wife– will need is that of a Protector. As more emotional beings, our wives have the need to feel protected physically and emotionally.
You see, our wives trust us with a lot. They have given their lives to helping us to raise a family, run a house, etc. They are (more often than not) the ones that are around the house and have the young children. Statistically, women are preyed upon more than men. For all of these things, and others, women look to us to protect them.
This means, guys, that you should be providing things to make her feel protected– and guarding her privacy. It starts with the ability to lock the bedroom door and extends to making sure you have a secure house, that you have a safe vehicle, and that she can trust your heart to be only hers.
We need to be active in showing our wives that we mean business when it comes to keeping the safe and protected. She needs to feel safe in our arms and secure in the fact that we will protect her until our dying day.
Does your wife have this feeling of protection from you? What ways do you think that a man can show his wife that he is protecting her?
- Godly Husband: You Must Be Born Again
- Godly Husband: Are You a Leader?
- Godly Husband: Is She Your Helper or Your Slave?
- Godly Husband: You Must be a Lover
- Godly Husband: You Must Be a Protector
- Godly Husband: Do You Do Too Much?
- Godly Husband: Using Your Perspective
- Godly Husband: What Do You Care Most About?
- Godly Husband: How Well Do You Know Your Wife?
- Godly Husband: Are You There?
- Godly Husband: How is Your Thought Life?
- Godly Husband: How Are You Treating “Your” Body
- Godly Husband: Are You Pro-Active?
- Godly Husband: Are You Precise?
- Godly Husband: Are You Keeping Your Wedding Vows?
- Godly Husband: Are You a Provider?
- Godly Husband: Do You Nourish and Cherish Your Wife?
John Piper writes about marriage in his “Desiring God”:
Just the other day we were awakened in the middle of the night by four gun shots. Let me just say that was scary– since we live in a city and there was a shooting the day or so before. We had been looking for a new house before, and this just gave me new impetus– but it also reminded me of my duty to protect my family the best I can.
It takes a lot for a man to realize this, not just do it. I know my husband is in this arena and has provided the home, security and safe vehicle for me. We are happier now than we’ve ever been and it’s not because of money or finances but that word you mentioned…”security”.
Cat, I think that guys have the tendency to overlook just how big this need is. Sure, they like being thought of as “protector” but some fail to make the logical connection with providing the means of protection– and I don’t mean a good baseball bat or handgun.
We guys need to realize that there are many things that we need to consider in terms of protection– like the safe vehicle, a cellphone for emergencies, and our presence in scary situations.
We need to make sure that we have the best environment for our wife and family and have that in mind when we make our choices.
I think you’ve hit the heart of the matter, Jenna. With the increases of divorces and the ease of getting a divorce we’ve told our children (those now coming of age) that you can’t trust a person to uphold their vows– they may leave you at any time. Our popular culture has glorified sexual promiscuity. We’ve basically told society to “trust no one” and yet we yearn to be able to trust someone.
Ultimately we find the unchanging character of God something that we can put our trust in and know it will never fail. But even personally, we practice teaching ourselves not to trust in people– even though we expect to be able to. We see it in the dating scene with break-ups. We see it in divorce. It’s everywhere.
We expect trust– but we need to do the work to cause the other person to trust in us. I’m glad you have such a hubby!
I think that the best thing my husband has ever done to help me feel protected is to cultivate trust with me. Whether it has been protecting my heart or my body, none of it is is possible without my trusting him to take care of me emotionally and physically. I think that this trust is something that is sorely lacking in our society these days, especially with the not-so-subtle ways that feminism has become so ingrained in our society and how we think. Why would a woman trust a man if she has no need for him, can do better on her own, and has put herself in a position to be used by men? I think this is one of the reasons that marriage is in such a state, because these same “I don’t need a man to protect me” gals are finding that they need a man to love them- and yet they try to separate a man from what he feels naturally inclined to do.
I think that we all need to be able to fill in for each other’s weaknesses– it’s all part of the design to be a helper and be one that needs help!
You’re right, Meg, it’s great that God planned for the problems and challenges that we have by having us with the right spouse to compliment us.
My husband is a fierce protector. One thing that he has done for me is to protect me from myself. I used to be (and still am to a certain degree) a very reckless person. I was reckless with my own safety, and to a lesser degree the safety of my own kids. My husband has had to draw lines that protect me and our kids from my own recklessness. I am grateful that the Lord bound me to a man who is cautious in the realm of physical security, for I am reckless in that area. He needs to lighten up a bit sometimes (that is why he has me) and I need to draw in the reigns sometimes (why I have him)!
God is so good, and thoughtful towards us!
Mrs. Meg Logan