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Is it possible that in the rush for equal rights, breaking the glass ceiling and equality of the sexes that we have lost something? Could that something be that real men have been destroyed?
We have been told through our education and socialization that the paternalistic society that we find ourselves in is bad. Then men dominated women and made them basically slaves was something that was a given in our history lessons. In order to make more palatable the idea that women and men were equals– the same in every way– the groundwork needed to be laid for guilt or browbeating men into submission.
And before I go on, let me say that the Bible commands that spouses be submissive to each other– there is a part about the woman being submissive to the man, but there’s also a command for the man to love the wife as God loved the church– He dies for it.
I would like to say that history in the patriarch community was much different than we know it. You see, if you do any studying of the Old Testament times, you will see that women played a vital role in the household, had a lot of responsibility and had a fulfilling life– even with a husband that ruled the house.
Just a couple of examples:
Look at the role that the Proverbs 31 wife played. She was a wife and mother, but she invested in real estate, she sewed, she took care of the family. By comparison it looks like her husband did not do very much, but her reputation made his family complete.
Look at Abigail. Here’s a woman that helped run her husband’s, Nabal’s, affairs and was instrumental in sparing him from David’s wrath.
In fact, all the examples of femininity in the Old Testament are a beauty to behold, and they had quite the influence on their man (think Adam and Eve).
And yet all of these couple realized that there was a natural order of things, and that there was a leader in the house (not someone who commands, but leads). We’ve lost something in our strive for equality. We’ve lost a relationship that seeks the best for the family and replaced it with a self-centered partnership. We talk about getting pre-nuputial agreements– just in case. We consider it ok to annul a vow or divorce a spouse because the situation becomes too difficult.
These situations would not be as prevalent if there was not the constant promotion of self to the detriment of everything else.
I agree with most of what you say. I myself am fully committed to a patriarchical family, because God’s Word declares it to be right. And there is always greater joy and fulfillment in doing what God wants.
I disagree with how you stated this:
“And before I go on, let me say that the Bible commands that spouses be submissive to each other there is a part about the woman being submissive to the man, but there’s also a command for the man to love the wife as God loved the church He dies for it.”
Jesus was not submissive to the church that He died for, He was submitted to God the Father. Likewise the husband in a family is not submitted to his wife, but she is submitted to him. The husband is submitted to Jesus and His Word. The husband lays down his life for the family, but He leads it too, he isn’t obligated to do ANYTHING for her because she so desires it, only because Christ has required it. Just like Christ is not obligated to do anything i desire, only what the Father has told Him to do.
I think it is especialyl important to emphasise these distinctions, because you are right that in today’s world true masculinity and femininity have been lost. We cannot compromise the Truth to make it palatable to a degenerate generation.
Peace in His Name,
Mrs. Meg Logan
Thanks for straightening me out there, Mrs. Logan. Jesus was never submissive to the church, but He did love it enough to die for it. We husbands have to love our wives enough to die for them and show God’s love.
I was sure there was a passage telling us to submit to one another, but I can’t find it now! You must be right.
It’s hard to go against the grain and culture, but God does know what is best!
There is a passage directed to Christians in general that says “Submit then yourselves one unto the other” that is true, but it is not for husbands and wives, it is for brothers and sisters in the faith. Frequently that scripture is used by women to say that women do not need to be submitted to their husbands, or that their husbands shoudl be equally submitted to them.. but think on that for a second. How could we both be submitted to each other when discussing serious issues? There must be a head and Paul rightly defines it as the man in Ephesians 5 and also later in 1 Corinthians (pretty sure thats where it is, 1 Cor. 11??) where he says “man is the head of woman and Jesus is the head of man” anyway…
as brothers and sisters we are to submit ourselves to each other in service, it is and expansion on the idea of love your neighbor, and do unto others. We are to give priority to others to keep the unity of the Spirit.
Good to hear someone else taughting the truth though!
Peace In the Lord,
Mrs. Meg Logan
You’re right, and the more I thought about it the more I see the truth. Thanks!
I can’t imagine this would be a problem for me if I can actually find a good Christian guy who isn’t intimidated by my height and career… (ideally he should be both taller and more successful :biggrin: )
After all, why marry him if you haven’t got that level of respect for him? I would never marry a man who I thought I was smarter than… I guess if you do, then you may have a problem with that…
But if the guy is smarter, then it makes sense for him to have the last word in a debate. Also, he’ll be smart enough not to become a dictator, and he’ll be smart enough to utilise that excellent leadership quality: delegation.
In fact, I’d find it a huge relief if somebody else made the big and important decisions so that I could focus on other things.
Respect for each other definitely has to be there in order for a marriage to work. I do know that if areas of expertise are different, that can overcome one person “being smarter” than another. The other position that is awkward is when the woman has more spiritual training then the man– but this can also be overcome.
The point is– you need to be able to submit and love the man that you’ll marry, and if it requires a smarter man, then that’s the one you need to find! 🙂