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Terri asked me a good question on the post where I asked if you believed Jessica Biel— one that may be on a lot of your minds, so I thought I would use a post to answer.
I have a question. It’s going to sound confrontational and for that I am sorry, but I am curious.
Why are so many of your posts about women and what they should or should not be doing? And I don’t mean this Jessica Biel stuff, but all the other posts about Christian behavior for women. It seems skewed. Each time I have visited here, I have wondered why more of the posts don’t concern general Christian themes, or posts for men.
Is this purposeful?
I don’t find her question at all confrontational as much as informational. In fact, it caused me to reflect all weekend. So, I looked back over my posts for this month. I’ll spare you the details, but what I found was that there were four things that got a majority of post time: Women’s Issues (the modesty series and my weekly commentary on abortion), Technology (fixing trackbacks, website reviews and weekly tech help), Marriage/Parenting (Who creates the bonding, teen online conversations, and culture at large), and General Christian topics (KJV Only, How to fight addiction).
So, I’m probably not as balanced as I can be– but when it comes to what to write about, I think that there are a few main things that drive my topics:
- What I’m interested in. This goes without saying. If I’m not interested in it, I’m probably not going to put in the time necessary to write something. I have so many things that I read see and think about that it’s hard to write it all (just look at my del.icio.us links and then multiply it by two for the non-computer topics floating around in my head.
- How long does it take? I’m a dad with kids. I get only a few hours a week to do this and I have to make them count. If I were to spend hours doing research from something (which I have done) I would only get one post out that week and then where would we be? 🙂 It’s a tough one, but it’s true.
- Who is my audience? To be blunt, my audience (you the reader) is mostly ladies– and more specifically, ladies who have asked my opinions about ladies issues. I was asked about what I thought was modest, what I thought about marriage, etc. Being a married guy, and reading a lot of parenting books, relationship books, etc., it’s something I’m thinking about (hence the new Weekend Kindness focusing on relationships!)
- What my friends are talking about. I read a lot of blogs (headlines, parts of posts, full posts). That which is the current item of discussion in my circle tends to drive some of the topics that I talk about.
Does that help, Terri? I do write about more than women’s issues, and if I were back to writing four posts a day I think you’d see that. Hopefully you’ll come back more often to see my other topics and realize that there’s really a lot to discuss.
I don’t think her question was confrontational either. I love coming here and occassionally I will post my comments, and I have not been disappointed.
I met Mary through here and she is wonderful lady.
The topics are right on target.
Well….It’s confrontational for me , because it bothers me.
Oftentimes the posts aren’t just about women, but what they should be doing…whether to wear a headcovering, how to behave as a wife, what women should wear, the effects of birth control…not to metion the post you quoted about a woman being given away by her father and to a certain type of man.
Maybe its that your a man writing about the topic, but the tone of the posts frequently feels condescending to me.
Of course, I am not a regular here. Maybe it just the timing of my visits versus the the timing of the posts.
Terri, perhaps it’s because I tend to wrestle a lot with issues that I find controversial and I don’t know where really to stand– well, I know where I stand, but I’m searching for where I should stand.
For example, we had a long discussion about whether tongues were for today– and that took us all over the place talking about how they are used today and how they should be used.
A lot of things that we do in churches today we do because “we always do them” so in some of these cases I wanted to actually look. My wife and I were discussing head coverings, skirts, etc, so I started out looking at the scripture on these things. What I found was totally different than what I was taught. How do I reconcile them? So, I start with the Scripture here, make a position and try to get discussion started.
For me, a big part of blogging is seeing what you think. It’s getting your opinions and being able to talk things through. It’s no secret that the more controversial the topic the more engaged people will be on a blog with comments– if I always came to you saying things that you agreed with you may never get involved in the discussion.
You don’t have to agree with me– but my desire is that what I say makes you think. I don’t want it to be “This is what MInTheGap thinks a woman should wear on her head, how a wife should behave, what she should wear, or whether she should take birth control,” but rather “What does the Bible say about this, and how does that square with what MInTheGap is saying and what I believe?”
Like just this past Sunday, Leticia and I discussed KJV only– we have some differences of opinion, but we can come together and discuss it.
I guess part of it is because my audience (at least my commenting audience) is primarily female, and I’ve been asked to comment about what I think about X as a guy a lot.
I try to be equally as hard on guys as girls when the topics come up (you should see the series I’ve done on Godly Husbands or my new series over at Weekend Kindness on the Complete Husband).
So, only take the posts personally only if the Holy Spirit wants you to, otherwise present your case, argue your view either personally or from Scripture, and let’s see where the Lord leads.
I’m glad you chose to answer Terri’s question, MIn, because I had wondered the same thing a little. Unlike Terri, though, I do consider myself a regular and your topics and treatment of them don’t bother me. I had just been a little curious. 🙂
Well, you all were not alone. Both my Virtuous Blonde and Point Of Order have wondered where are all the men. (And I am glad to have Charley joining us on conversations now.) Truth be told, it does not matter the topic, I’ve generally had more girls than guys that comment– don’t know about those that are not commenting. I’m not sure whether that’s because I tend to talk about issues that relate better to female audience (family, home, parenting, etc) or whether it’s my writing style (I once put in a post to this website and it said that my post came from a female author!) or something else.
The point is, when you have a group of friends (like you guys are to me) and people like reading about certain things, you tend to write more of those things. And maybe that’s the key to it all. I mean, would one expect to keep an audience if they didn’t write for that audience? What would it be like to try to get a new audience? Should I turn you all away because you’re women! 🙂
I was going to suggest that women just have more words to use ;), but there is something else: you are very inclusive and conversational. Since I don’t read but half a handfull of blogs by men, I can’t compare your style to other men very well, but it compares favorably with the blogs I like by women.
In other words, women may feel comfortable commenting here because you treat them with respect when they do.
“So, only take the posts personally only if the Holy Spirit wants you to, otherwise present your case, argue your view either personally or from Scripture, and let’s see where the Lord leads.”
I am hoping this quote is meant in the nature it is written and not subtly implying that if I don’t agree with something, or am bothered about it, that it means I am avoiding the Holy Spirit’s direction. I am fully confident in my faith in God and my freedom in Christ.
Thanks for answering the question. It came up only because I could not envision myself writing advice for men about how to be better men….something I have no experience with or ability to expound upon.
Being a Chrisitian woman carries many blessings and responsibilities, I just hate to see any more added to load that so many already carry.
Correct– I’m not trying to be someone’s conscience or tell you that what you are doing is wrong, I’m simply discussing things that are interesting or difficult.
For instance, the whole question that I’ve wrestled with for some time is the question of “what role does culture play when reading the Bible and understanding its commands”. Some would argue that we must take commands literally as prescribed in the text, i.e.: Women should wear head coverings, men should have short hair, etc.
This whole question mostly shows its head in the whole gender debates because we live in a time where the standards for what women do in the church and in society is changing. We never would have had a discussion on women preachers at the beginning of the 1900s. There are still some churches that have women wear head coverings, but nothing like what you would have found in the 1800s. Are we afraid to ask the question because of women’s liberation?
I try not to tell anyone what to do as much as I say what I believe the Scripture says about a given topic. Recently, it’s been more about modesty and roles in a family than anything else.
I hope this transparency helps, and I’m thankful that you asked the question. I believe that you’ll find that I’m starting up some new series and that they will be more general purpose than before (and I usually get more political as we come to the general election anyway!). And you’re probably going to cringe when you read that tomorrow I’m discussing “Can a Woman Be President of the United States” but that’s not Biblical, it’s political.
Whoops– did I give a preview?!