Authority and Responsibility – Galatians 3:28, Ephesians 5:22-33, 1 Peter 3:1-7

Where Does Peter and Paul Derive Their Instruction about the Submission?

Paul states that marriage shows the relationship between Christ and the church. He also appeals to the fact that in Genesis two were said to become one flesh. Peter appeals to Abraham and Sarah as a model for submission in a family.

What are the commands in these passages?

• In Christ, there is no male or female.
• The husband is to love the wife like Christ loves the church—self-sacrificially.
• The husband is to instruct the wife and to help her to grow spiritually.
• The wife is to submit to her husband’s leading.
• The wife is to respect her husband.

Why aren’t wives told to love their husbands in Ephesians 5?

I believe that God is showing that husbands and wives are different in the sense of what they both need. We are wired differently—more than just the physical—and much of what a husband needs is respect. Much like a man will not (naturally) aid another man unless asked in order not to disrespect the other man, men crave respect, and that is a way of showing them love.

Ultimately, for what reason should the husband and wife love/respect?

God commands us to do this—it is not something that the other spouse necessarily deserves. Wives are to submit, regardless of whether her husband gets it right or whether he’s gotten it wrong multiple times before because she loves God. Husbands are to love their wives regardless of whether she respects him or refuses his leadership.

Do those without a Believing Spouse still have to submit?

Yes. This points to the fact that the general behavior of the wife is to be one of character. She is to be one that wins her husband by her good works, by her sweet and kind spirit, by here submissive attitude. It is this, and not bossing her husband around that will convince him to change. This is different than what is natural in that it shows respect (she’s not nagging or telling him that he’s wrong) and yet is still showing God’s truth to him.

What is the difference between submission and consensus?

Consensus implies equals. If you’re running your home based on consensus—where you talk things out and only do things based on whether the two of you agree—you’re operating under consensus. In a hierarchical structure, the one in charge makes a decision (with or without conferring) and that decision stands.