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We talked last time about the power that is now wielded by the Seductress not only through her physical presence, but now through photography and video. The power of this medium is not to be trivialized.
Pornography has destroyed marriages, it has encouraged all sorts of perversion, and it has taken ministries away from individuals.
It’s no wonder that Solomon goes the the extra mile to detail just what should be avoided, and of all the different sins Jesus could have used to talk about committing sins in your heart, adultery would have been one of the few that were used.
Do not lust after her beauty in your heart,
Nor let her allure you with her eyelids.For by means of a harlot
A man is reduced to a crust of bread;
And an adulteress1 will prey upon his precious life. – Proverbs 6:25-26
The Seductress, as we have seen, uses flattery to get her way. She uses her body to attract men. She uses her looks to gain attention, and this attention translates into power.
What you need to remember is that the seductress is not concerned with right relationships—she breaks them. She’s not concerned with giving you her best, or looking out for your best interests—she’s looking for power.
We know that we live in a sex drenched culture. One that teaches young women to use their bodies to get what they want on one side, while proclaiming that they don’t get enough power with the other.
Our little girls are taught to wear their underwear to the beach, and that dressing in a certain way will get guys attention. They are not taught to save themselves, or why that would be advantageous.
Our boys are taught that girls’ bodies are there for them to gawk at, and “as long as no one gets hurt” they can look all they want. They are taught to indulge themselves sexually, and that there are no limits.
Our culture has thrown away promises, commitment, purity and the like, and given us instead a cheap knock-off. It sells sex without commitment, regardless of the fulfillment found inside a loving marriage. It actively seeks to destroy the bond between couples by offering the emotional and physical needs that were supposed to be provided by the spouse and can now be found anywhere and everywhere.
This is why it’s important to guard our hearts and our our eyes. This is why we must be vigilant to fulfill our needs and satisfy them. There’s an active battle going on to cheapen the traditional family, and erode it to the point that it can be equivalent with whatever kind of social contract two or more people can come up with.
The problem with this is that no relationship can live up to what God intended for the marriage relationship.
The Seductress cannot win if you do not look. She cannot get into your heart if you do not listen. She cannot break apart your marriage if you don’t go to her house.
She is powerless against people that are wise to her tricks. She’s weak in the presence of someone that’s humble, and that knows their rightful place. She cannot penetrate a relationship that is founded on mutual satisfaction and love.
- another man’s wife [↩]
I know of a few couples who watch porn together, thinking that this will spice up their sex lives. I would highly discourage this, though. Not only does porn involve watching people you’re not married to, but it also sets unrealistic standards for each other. There’s nothing wrong with looking for new things to try together – that’s part of the fun of being married, but you can always find new ideas without stepping over that line.
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@AG: You stated one great reason not to do it– expectations. Expectations for what you “should be able to do” and expectations for “what your partner should look like.” Both of these are bad.
The other reason is that Proverbs tells us to let our wife’s bodies satisfy us. If they’re satisfying, we will need nothing else. If we’re comparing, then we’re not following this either.
The sad, unsaid truth here is that a lot of purity comes from ignorance. Let me explain. When Adam and Eve were in the garden and did not eat of the fruit, they were pure– they knew no sin, and life was good. Once they ate, they knew and they were ashamed.
Sex is like that. It’s a whole lot easier to resist doing something that you haven’t done. And it’s a whole lot easier to be pure if you’re not engaged in filling your mind of what other’s bodies look like, what other people are doing (and being paid to do, mind you), etc.
Sex is supposed to be something that binds you to your partner, but it’s not an end in itself. Many people get this switched around. Guys especially. When sex is the goal, you have all sorts of perversions. You have cheating. You have people not satisfied with the bonding that’s happening and wondering if there’s more.
We must make sure that we don’t lose the blessing it is chasing for the passion that we think we can have, but probably is not attainable.
We’re going through “Every Young Woman’s Battle” with the girls in the youth group. One of the comments Shannon makes in the book is that in its counterpart, “Every Young Man’s Battle,” the young men are encouraged to learn how to “bounce” their eyes. If they glimpse something they know will cause them to stumble, be tempted, entertain dangerous thoughts, etc., they should bounce their eyes off whatever it is to something else. I haven’t read EYMB but I thought this was a great tip for young men and I wish it was taught more for their own protection from attention-seeking girls and women and media.
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@Rachel: Summer is definitely a hard time for this. It seems that young ladies take the warm weather as a license to get their shirts as low as possible, and their shorts as high and tight as possible.
Thanks for recommending the “bounce”. Temptation is hard, but God makes a way of escape.