March 4, 2024

Never Alone

pure kiss

One of the realities of dating and purity is that your flesh wants to spend more time alone, and it is then that you are the most vulnerable.

What I’m not saying is that you will do something.  I’m also not saying that you shouldn’t spend one-on-one time with the girl/guy that you’re dating.  You’ll need to have the opportunity to talk, and you’ll want to discuss things that aren’t necessarily appropriate for a group of people.

An Important Decision

What I am saying is that if you want to remain firm on your decision to remain pure, you will probably have to make this good ground rule:

I will never be at home (either mine, theirs, or another’s) alone with this person.

Why do I say this?  Because when you are home alone you will be tempted.

This is why you need to know that there will always be someone else around—or you’ll be in a public place.

Strength in Numbers

This is also why I recommend spending a lot of time in groups.  The reasons for this are twofold:

Building Mutual Friendships

The two of you may or may not have mutual friends.  You may have come from different areas.  However, if you get married to this guy/girl that you are going with, you’re going to want to have some mutual friends that both of you like—otherwise you’re going to be in a situation where it’s his friends and her friends.

You’ll especially want to hang around other couples, because when you are married you’ll want to have couples to hang around with—singles are (and don’t take this wrong) awkward.

They’ll Keep You Pure

But all of that’s a side benefit.  The reality is that you are less likely to do something that make you impure when there’s a group of people around.  So, just like the “never alone” principle, you’ll want to spend time (whenever possible) with couples—even if they’re older or younger.

The older couples have yet another benefit of helping you to learn from them—things that work, how to communicate, and how to keep pure in marriage.  The younger couples are good for talking about what’s going on in your life now.

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2 thoughts on “Never Alone

  1. @Rachel: You flatter me. I’m sure that somewhere someone’s already done it, but I guess I could write more and make a study out of it.

    I’ve never had anything I’ve written actually sell, so that would be wild.

    In any case, I hope that it blesses you and your girls like your encouragement has blessed me.

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