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A while back, Holly asked a question, and I thought I’d take the opportunity to share my answer to that question in a post. The question is “Would you choose marriage – all over again?” This question sounds a whole lot deeper than it does at first reading– because (next to salvation) marriage is the biggest, life changing decision that a person can make.
It’s something that I learned later in life, but I can’t figure out exactly when it dawned on me. Maturity, to some degree, comes with a denial of self. As we go through life, we continue to enter into arrangements and make decisions that force us to deny ourselves and put others first. If I were to track this back to the first big decision that everyone has that does this, it’s probably learning to share one’s toys in Kindergarten. But it quickly grows into serious life altering things when you get married.
Marriage to me meant a lot of changes. Changes to my habits– no more being on the computer all night from the moment I got home. Changes to who does the chores in the house– my mom did too much for me, and I’m learning to actually spot when things need to be done (but it’s always a battle :blush:). It also meant that I’d have to share my money, not just with my wife, but with my children.
But it also gave me someone to share my life with. It gave me the blessing of children that call me “Dad.” It has given me prayer support. It has given me the chance to provide– to reach outside of myself and lift others up.
Would I get married, all over again? Certainly. I believe it not only fulfills me, but allows me to show Christ’s love. Is it difficult? Sure, but nothing that’s worth it isn’t.
I would, too. But probably, knowing what I know now, I would be less blue-eyed and much more realistic in my expectations. Especially those regarding “wanting to change him”-ideas.
I have never regretted anything in my life, so I am happy with my choices. But then again, knowing what I know now – this time about God – this is the way it was supposed to be.
You bring up some excellent points…marriage is so good for a person willing to surrender self. I agree that it’s a major decision that way too many face without realism, uppermost in their mind is the wedding planning, not the marriage training. I’m so thankful that both my husband and I were Christians coming from backgrounds rooted in strong Christian marriages…what a backbone that support was in the early years. I was so young…in one way it was a good transition for me straight from my father’s protection to that of my husbands, in another, it just meant a lot of maturity to learn overnight!
I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat, no regrets here. I’m a much better person because of my dear husband’s influence.
There was a long time in my life where I wish I had never, ever gotten married and regretted it on a daily basis. My marriage has been a constant struggle and the only thing positive were my little boys, until now. God is working and I truly enjoy marriage.
Would I get married all over again? That’s impossible to answer really, but I have never regretted getting married the first time over. I believe there is only one legitimate argument that couples may have with one another, and I argue it with Gill often: which one of us loves the other more. :biggrin:
Ahh…we have that argument often here too! Great comment, Stephen!
AH, thanks for the link. I’m one of those strange ones who doesn’t think marriage is all that hard…I’d marry the same fellow over a thousand times, and still wish for more time.
Who will get up at night with the toddler…THAT’s a hard question… :wub:
Toddler? Who gets up with the infant is the question we currently have! :sleeping:
We’re trying to get on a schedule so that we’re able to maximize our sleep, but you know how that is!