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Another aspect of this discussion has to be the care that the man had for his woman in the Old Testament. This is seen in a variety of locations.
In the story of Ruth and Boaz, Boaz takes up the cause of Naomi not having kin and Ruth’s husband’s death by being her kinsman redeemer. Jacob was willing to work for Laban for 14 years to get Rachel, his daughter. Proverbs put a high value on a good wife. The whole Song of Solomon places the physical and intimate parts of a married couple, putting emphasis on the love between the couple.
Way before chivalry, the Bible showed the proper relationship between a man and a woman– showing His love for us. He had Hosea marry a woman that would be prostituting herself to show that His love was above His people’s indiscretion.
Too often in our culture, people say that they are incompatible– and yet God’s example for a relationship between the sexes is unconditional love for each other. Even those that are Christians say that infidelity could cause a person to leave the other– and yet the Hosea example shows that God will never leave us.
Take comfort in God’s unfailing love in the midst of our failure to be like Him. Practice and learn to live a life of love in which you love despite what others do. Others will fail you– God never will. We marry a sinful human being and we are sinful human beings– yet God calls us to a higher standard.
Meg’s comment triggered my curiosity…this is a great series! I especially enjoyed this one.
“Even those that are Christians say that infidelity could cause a person to leave the other”
Please know I do not endorse divorce and I agree with your comments regarding unconditional love and striving to love others as God loves us – however – I feel it is important that one not remain in a dangerous situation in the name of love.
The topic is controversial, but I believe there are times when divorce is unavoidable due to “free-will” and “sin.”
To have a relationship with our Creator requires us to be actively involved in that relationship, He does not force us, but rather grants free-will. The same is true of our human relationships. We have choices and consequences.
I have been a victim of infidelity in which I forgave repeatedly. I was actively walking with God and my relationship with Christ was all that kept me going. I prayed for healing and longed to have a solid family unit, yet the choices of my spouse were continually destructive to our marriage and our family’s emotional and possibly physical well being. After much prayer and petition I was released from that marriage and I filed for divorce, though it was not the answer I had been praying for.
Today I have a godly marriage for which I am very thankful. My family will always carry the scars of divorce, there is no miracle cure for broken families. But thankfully we serve a Lord who knows our hearts, understands our pain and can use all things for His glory.
There are always difficult circumstances, and situations that try us to the very core. I believe that God brings hard things into our lives so that we can both minister to others and so that our own faith and dependence on the Lord is strengthened.
If these things have made your walk with Him stronger, I’m grateful for that– even though I don’t know that I can endorse divorce.
It is terrible to hear of people who are married to serial adulterers. I do believe that the Lord allows for divorce for this reason, but only due to the hardness of our hearts. How many times are we to forgive? Seventy times seven, or ad infinitum…
There is most assuredly free will and therefore people can always choose the wrong things, like adultery. There is also free will regarding remaining married to someone who is a serial adulterer. Hosea married a prostitute and the Lord kept sending him after her…
I do not condemn your decision, certainly you have gone beyond what most would by forgiving and taking him back several times. You freely admit that your family suffered from your decision too. I know that there is healing in the Lord, from both divorce and adultery and I hope that you have found peace in the Lord.
I like MIN cannot endorse divorce, and I also go one step further, I cannot endorse remarriage after divorce. I also believe however that the Lord is able to forgive EVERYTHING (except to deny Him). He is able to forgive and heal and love even the most horrible things, and my own story of forgiveness is absolutely no better. He forgives me, He forgives you, and I do not condemn you.
In Peace,
Mrs. Meg Logan
I appreciate your comments and admire and respect your viewpoints. It is a difficult subject. Often we must agree to disagree. It was many years ago and I have always had peace about it because I took it to the Lord with a humble heart. It taught me to love Him in ways I had never known before. My faith grew through it and has continued to grow since. I have faced many trials in life, but I would not trade the intimate relationship I have with Christ today for a smoother life. What I have now is priceless and makes me stronger during the trials of today and tomorrow. Be Blessed and it’s great to meet you all.
BTW – Is there a way to put my own avatar in? I really don’t like the generic ones.