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Today’s culture has told young women that in order to be truly liberated they must engage in all the activities in which men participate. They are encouraged to have casual sex, to enjoy their bodies and they should disregard their emotions.
The problem is, they can’t. And the scarier reality is that there are books and tools out there that take advantage of the fact that deep down a woman’s opinion of herself is attached to what the men around her think of her. And that this self-evaluation is tied to whom she allows in her bed.
According to How to Succeed with Women, the trick is quite simple– make sure that you have sex with you as soon as possible so that you change the rules:
When you are seducing a woman, you want to spend as little time with her as possible before having sex because the less time you spend with her, the less time you have to make a mistake fatal to the seduction. . . . Every unnecessary interaction is just another opportunity to bungle it up. Before the date, a woman is looking for reasons to get rid of you. Earlier we talked about how, when a woman dates someone, her orderly existence becomes shaken up. . . . In some corner of her mind, the woman you are interested in is looking for some justification to get you out of her life. The more time you give her to find one, the more likely she is to do just that.
Once a woman has had sex with you, the rules change. Now instead of trying to justify getting rid of you, she’s trying to justify why you were worth having sex with in the first place. Instead of being on the hunt for your bad points, she’s more likely to be on the look out for the good.1
Obviously, this isn’t advice on how one should get a wife, but how a man can take advantage of the feminist movement. This isn’t about finding the right woman to settle down and have a family with, this is all about taking advantage of women– and the sad part is that women don’t even realize it.
What’s sick is that it probably works. Men manipulate women, they convince them to do things that they shouldn’t and cover it in the shroud of being empowered, and women buy into it. And before they know it, they are having to justify their actions or live with the consequences of a mistake.
If we truly loved our girls and our young ladies, we would be encouraging self-restraint. We would teach them to demand that men be gentlemen. We would teach them to consider personality before sexual prowess. We would teach them to value commitment instead of pleasure. We would build them up so that they would know that they have a value that’s not derived from whether a guy finds them attractive or wants to share their bed, but from who they are, from what they’ve accomplished.
There is a way to true freedom for women, but it’s not to be found being sexual toys for men. It’s found in realizing who they are (they’re God’s creation– inherently worth something to Him who sent His Son to die for them) and that all these external things are just that. They must also realize what they truly want and desire– and that their emotional needs will not be met by a guy seeking to use her for his pleasure.
- Girls Gone Mild, p. 201 quoting How to Succeed with Women [↩]
That’s quite the attention grabbing post title. Good for you, too because you hit the nail on the head, big time.
Christine’s last blog post..A Cinderella Story
Min, it sounds like in the post you are making the women out to be victims, so why is your main message for the victim to change how they are acting?? It’s not a woman’s fault if a man trys to use her, if she is truly as you say the victim, so why change how she is acting if she is not at fault.?
No min, what needs to be done here is not to teach our girls to be chaster but to teach our boys to be so.? If we want to fix the problem, we need to stop ignoring our boys’ sins in favor of over regulating our girls.? You have admitted it yourself, boys are more likely to want to have sex and therefore more likely to commit this sin, so why do you make no mention of teaching them how to restrain themselves?? Stop ignoring the boys fault in these issues.
Men were created to be conquerors. Some of the most godly men focus on the arsonal God has given them in claiming victory over the enemy. They were created to overcome.
So many men try to conquer women, which I don’t think is always a bad thing. It just depends on how they do so. Most men, especially those who don’t know better, try to conquer them physically. But a woman’s heart should be conquered. A man must fight for a woman’s affection and love, then when he has that love, fight to retain it.
If a woman gives herself prematurely to a man, he’s just conquered a part of her and loses interest. Unless he’s bound in a marriage covenant, it’s very tempting to turn to the next challenge.
AG’s last blog post..The Mercy Seat
Christine, it is quite provocative, but I think that it’s important that women know exactly what what’s going on.
Loc, women are the victims, but only because they allow themselves to be. Unfortunately, there is more motivation for the woman to be good than for the man. Society has recently taught the woman that it’s ok to be bad– if not glamorous. They’d told these young ladies that it’s ok to have the morals of an alley cat “because the boys are that way.” In reality, neither should be that way– but the girls have a better chance of effecting the change. Why?
First, because it’s only recently that they have accepted this concept. Girls used to hold out for chivalry, they made the man work, and they rewarded commitment with pleasure.
Second, women bear the children, and the majority of STDs actually have more of an effect on women then men. Therefore it’s in their best interest to limit the number of sexual partners.
So, you’re right– I definitely need to tell the guys that they need to conquer the heart (like AG said) instead of just going for the physical pleasure. They have to be told that virginity is something that they should have until marriage as well. But the reality on the ground is that if we can convince women that they are worth waiting for, that they are special, and that it’s in their best interest to wait, then we will have come a long way.
“This isn’t about finding the right woman to settle down and have a family with, this is all about taking advantage of women– and the sad part is that women don’t even realize it.”
Not true at all. Those goals are not mutually exclusive.