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For me, one of the most awkward parts of Scripture to read is the passage of Song of Solomon 5:10-16. Why? Because this is the passage (if you haven’t already opened it up) where the woman speaker starts to describe her husband’s features referencing them to animals, food, spices, trees, metal and building structure. It’s just strange– probably because we do not talk this way now.
And yet, this passage, and it’s companion passage in Song of Solomon 4, have something to teach us about praise and your husband. You see, our culture has done a good job in instructing the guys that their women like to be noticed, that they like to be told how they look, what we like about them, etc.
To some degree, women (and now the teenage girls) dress, act, and even go to great lengths to solicit attention and appreciation. Just look at the preponderance of girls bearing their flesh and what they will upload to websites and do on webcams all in the search for popularity and/or compliment!
And yet, men have this component as well– as demonstrated by this passage. No, I’m not necessarily saying that men want to be known for their good looks or their nice smell, but they do want to know what they are doing is important– that they are appreciated.
So, two things to take away from this question:
- If you think your hubby smells nice– tell him so (whether it’s Irish Spring, Zest or whatever!). If there’s anything you knew he did for you, encourage him and you’ll find that he’ll probably do it again.
- Seek ways to let your husband know that even the little things that he does are appreciated. The more you compliment him and look for the best in him the more he will want to please you. It’s a win-win.
Question Idea taken from Questions for a Godly Wife
- Godly Wife: Is He Your Master?
- Godly Wife: Who Are You Seeking to Please?
- Godly Wife: Are You His Helper or His Obstacle?
- Godly Wife: Does Your Husband’s Heart Trust in You?
- Godly Wife: How Do You Handle When He is Wrong?
- Godly Wife: How do you Handle Disagreements?
- Godly Wife: How Do You Receive Correction?
- Godly Wife: Are You Drawing Him to You with Your Speech?
- Godly Wife: How Does Your Husband Grow?
- Godly Wife: Who Trains the Children?
- Godly Wife: How Do You Make Your Husband Feel?
- Godly Wife: Are You Intimately Available?
- Godly Wife: Do You Speak To Your Husband with Flattering Words?
- Godly Wife: Are You Helping Your Husband to Greater Heights?
- Godly Wife: Are You Keeping Your Wedding Vows?
- Godly Wife: Are You Openly Appreciative of Your Husband?
- Godly Wife: Do You Dominate Your Husband?
- Godly Wife: Have You Cut the Cord?
I encourage you all to go to http://www.desiringgod.org and listen/watch/read John Piper’s Sunday sermon. It is right on the topic, well, almost 😉
Loved #1 at the end there 😉
#2 is the gospel truth! Notice the little things (the good ones, that is!). In my opinion, it is the little things that can make or break a marriage…My hubby laughs at me when I thank him for cleaning the tub out after his bath…but that is such a sweet consideration that I refuse to take it for granted!
I’ve heard many women say they’ve learned the hard way that correcting husbands for doing things the wrong way (diapering the baby backwards, or folding laundry towels “wrong”, etc) is only going to ensure that they won’t help again in that capacity, at least not in the near future! So can the negative and focus on the positive!
Great post, MIn! 🙂
I do try to thank my husband and encourage him as much as possible, but after reading this post I will be even more diligent about it. As I’ve said before…I enjoy hearing the ‘man’s’ side of it, MIN. My husband is not real talkative about these kind of issues and at times I feel like I’m ‘shooting in the dark’.
For me, Deborah, it’s something that can make my day or pick me up. It also says that she notices that I’m more than just there.
For a funny aside– she’s out at her mother-in-laws until tomorrow and we talked briefly about the possibility of me going out tonight to get her. See, she had told me that the kids said that they were ready to come home. So, I replied that I would be willing to get her, but since they didn’t say they missed daddy, they’d have to stay out there!
Yes, Dad’s like to be appreciated too!
Cute story! I think we forget that husbands and dads are people too! 🙂