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Alex Phillips’ girlfriend probably thought that she was doing something innocuous. She probably thought that stripping down for Alex to take pictures of her was something that would either keep him interested in her or maybe he bullied her into doing it.
For whatever reason, the pictures were taken, and as is the case with these things, they found their way onto MySpace after the boy and the girl broke up.
The boy placed the photos on his page in an act of revenge, and he is being prosecuted for placing these kinds of photos of a minor, but that’s not the point of this post.
Pressured into It
We see it far too many times today– young ladies thinking that they have to do something to appease an oppressive boyfriend in order to keep him. It’s truly sad, for they are worth much more than this, and yet these boys can manipulate these girls into doing things that go against their better judgement.
To these girls, I wish to say that you are more valuable than your body, you’re worth more than how you look. Who you are is more than just your measurements. It’s only a tiny part of what makes you who you are, and unlike the rest of you that will continue to grow, your physical appearance will diminish over time. If all that binds you to a guy is how you look, what will happen when you no longer look like you do?
Willing Partaker
I’m not naïve enough to believe that all girls are shamed or coerced into disrobing for a camera. So, for those girls that do this because they feel that they are truly in love, that they are empowered, or that they like the idea, I have something to say as well.
Be sure that any photograph or video that you have taken and that you are not in possession of will find its way on the Internet in a matter of time. It’s not necessarily on a break up, but men can be pigs. And your body is for you and your husband. It shouldn’t be shared with boyfriends. It shouldn’t be held up for display like a trophy.
Boiling it Down
Our “nakedness,” as the Old Testament called it, is something to be treasured by our spouse, and no one else. It is something that is special, but is not our whole person. Our culture has emphasized looks and sexiness to the detriment of who a person is. It has helped to turn women into objects and men in to the pursuers of objects.
A man that wants to take photographs or see you naked before your married is not seeking what’s best for you– whether you want to share that with him or not. He’s seeking to fulfil a desire. That desire is rightly quenched inside marriage, not outside. And even then, be careful what you film or photograph. It may come back to haunt you.
MIn, thanks for posting this. We’re going through a discussion this month with the kids in our youth group about what the Bible says about sex and relationships. This is a message that is truly needing to be heard by desperate kids.
AGs last blog post..My birthday!
@AG: You’re welcome, AG. I’ve worked with teens in the past (summer camps, etc.) and I’ve had a heart for teens not to make mistakes now that can impact their lives for a long time to come. Teens (be it because of hormones, maturity, or whatever) really don’t have a good grasp on time. Waiting seems like it will take forever, and yet the results of rushing things are what can live with you for the rest of your life.
Bonjour!
So, here’s an object lesson that may help with that, MIn:
Take four teenagers from the class and stand them against one wall, opposite the door. They represent four periods in your life: Birth, becoming sexually active, marriage, and death. Each one will take a step for every five years of life. Ask the students still sitting how old people usually are when they’re born. They’ll tell you 0. So the first teen stays where he is. Ask the students how old people usually are when they are able to become sexually active. You’ll usually get something between 13 and 15 years. Go with 15, as that’s easily divisible by five. That student takes three steps. Next is marriage. The students will usually tell you 20 or 25 years, so that student will take four or five steps. The last one, they’ll usually say between 65 and 95 for death. Try to get them to go with the higher end. That student will take the appropriate number of steps. They will usually have to walk out the door and down the hallway a little bit.
Have the kids look at the tiny distance between the 2nd and 3rd student and the huge distance between the 3rd and 4th student. Tell them that if they make good decisions for five years, they can have a great, baggage-free relationship for over fifty years.
AGs last blog post..My birthday!
@AG: That is a good object lesson– thanks for sharing.