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I find myself musing today on something said in the movie “Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.” It’s the part when the children are at the beach and the two children muse about whether or not her dad (played by Dick Van Dyke) will end up marrying “Truly.” It’s at this point that one of the children says “Well, has he kissed her yet? Because if he kisses her then they’ll have to get married.”
This came back to mind after reading some of the statements some kids said about love and marriage over at the Last Homely House
:
WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
1) When they’re rich.
— Pam, age 7
2) The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn’t want to mess with
that.
– Curt, age 7
The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It’s the right thing to do.
– Howard, age 8
My guess is that young Howard has seen the same movie. But really, what innocence. What amazing innocence and simplicity to say that you shouldn’t get involved physically until you are ready to make a commitment.
What a time we find ourselves now in where we have storylines with people in all states of relationships– into them, out of them, breaking them, forming them– and everything isn’t as clear as “if he kisses her, then they’ll have to be married.”
At that time and place there was something romantic, something special about people coming together. There was something special about the building of passion toward a marriage– not sleeping together until they decided to break up.
Where are the stories that encourage us to love a person for who they are instead of what the look like? The stories that encourage us that remaining chaste is something special– that even a kiss is something for those bound to be married.
Those simple times reinforced what we believed relationships should be and encouraged us to strive for a high mark– what do today’s say?
Within this culture, physical intimacy is taken for granted. I’ve know several friends who’ve waiting quite a while before even kissing in a relationship, after dating for quite some time. The more our society and culture starts to dictate what is acceptable, the more I’m fearful we’ll lose what is really our guidance in those areas. Being a single, twenty something it’s SO hard to find other individuals who’s value match up to you! Great post, definitely tracking with you.
How coincidental that you should post this today…just last night we had a family fun night here at home, the main attraction being the older film “Flipper”. At one point, the father/husband comes home and takes his wife in his arms and kisses her…my oldest (9 years old!) said: “They must be married in real life!” Lol. I said, “Why?” She replied, “Because he KISSED her!” When I explained Hollywood, and reminded her that they were, after all, actors, she still thought it was wrong. You go little girl! I hope she hangs on to her sense of decency.
I’ll never forget my mom telling me that pretty much the only “safe” thing to do before marriage was hand-holding. I thought she was SO old-fashioned. (thanks, world!) I sometimes wish my dh and I had waited till our wedding day for our first kiss. Ahhh…young love…:O)
I will add this: I know a lot of children that believe that babies come from kissing– and that’s partly because only “mommies and daddies” kiss!
My dad was big on explaining to me that physical feelings tend to build– so know where the Bible says that your limits are, and make sure you get no where near it. If you don’t want to find yourself with a child, then don’t find yourself kissing, hugging, etc. until you are close to marriage. He didn’t forbid it, but explained that since it’s hard to control those types of things, we shouldn’t be “playing with fire.”