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It’s a bad time to be a boy in America.
Feminism says, “Raise boys like you raise girls.” In other words, diminish their masculinity. What are parents of boys do in this gender-neutral world? Let’s take a look at three ways these hearts are being eroded: education, society’s expectations, and home life.
In How the Schools Shortchange Boys, public school teacher Gerry Garibaldi writes:
Christina Hoff Sommers was absolutely accurate in describing, in her 2000 bestseller, The War Against Boys, how feminist complaints that girls were ‘losing their voice’ in a male-oriented classroom have prompted the educational establishment to turn the schools upside down to make them more girl-friendly, to the detriment of males.
As Sommers understood, it is boys’ aggressive and rationalist nature—redefined by educators as a behavioral disorder—that’s getting so many of them in trouble in the feminized schools. Their problem: they don’t want to be girls” (emphasis mine)
Evaluating Boys as Broken Girls Makes Boys Feel Inferior
We’ve effectively switched the inferiority complex from the girls to the boys. First off, what are boys to think when the majority of teachers in grade school are women with an agenda? Secondly, being classed “ADHD” or “behaviorally challenged” doesn’t especially lend itself to one feeling good about their educational experience. The numbers prove my point. Fewer boys pursue further education than their female counterparts.
As for society’s expectations, we’re a unisex culture. Boys used to be boys, now they’re encouraged to play with Barbie’s and paint their toenails if they want. God created male and female to be different, their differences complement. Yet the push for equality has erased many of these differences. Rowdy boys become sullen teens and eventually, men. Men who are passive, quiet, and unsure of what their role really is.
Christina Hoff Sommers shared a story of a debate she once had with feminist lawyer, Gloria Allred. The two women disagreed over male and female differences. Christina shared the following in hopes that Gloria would admit that boys and girls are innately different:
Hasbro Toys, a major toy company, tested a play house they were considering marketing to both boys and girls. They soon discovered that girls and boys did not interact with the structure in the same way. The girls dressed the dolls, talked to them, kissed them and played house; the boys catapulted the baby carriage from the roof.
Gloria Allred was horrified. She took the catapulting behavior as a sign of propensity for violence.
How Can Mom Teach What They Don’t Know?
On the home front, many women have had to take on greater responsibility, often filling the role of both father and mother to their children. Many boys in the formative years are missing that vital link to manhood. How can their single mothers teach them what they need to know? Even if Dad is around, many times he’s unavailable. A study was done once of men in prison. On Mother’s Day, men stood in lines all day to take advantage of free cards given to them to be sent to their moms. On Father’s Day, only a handful of men made the effort. It makes you wonder what role (or lack thereof) their fathers played in their lives…to promote this life of criminal activity.
The pressures on kids today are tremendous. Fathers, especially, need to be involved in their son’s lives to counteract that stress. A father’s understanding and acceptance is critical, not to mention his wisdom and guidance.
In 1997, a typical year, 4,483 young people aged five to twenty-four committed suicide: 701 females and 3,782 males.
America’s future is in the hearts of these little boys. It’s time to stop others from neutering them and start nurturing their God-given masculine attributes. What are you going to do before it’s too late?
That is pretty sad to hear. I am teaching my boys to respect girls and that they should never, ever hit them. Girls are the weaker than them, etc.
Their dad is an advid hunter and their grandfather is a hunter as well as a carpenter. I do not want my boys to ever be “feminine” and I will do my darndest to prevent that.
I find that Virtuous Blonde and I take two totally different approaches to our boys. I’m much more willing to let them try something that they have their mind set to doing, and I have no problem expecting them to at least try something that they may or may not be able to do. As a guy, I know that part of who I am is in testing oneself, and doing what no one else thinks you can do.
As far as girls, I’m sure I’d be a whole lot more protective of one if I had one.
I am very upset with how it seems that every boy in school is diagnosed with ADHD– they don’t. They are just wired differently. They want to take the couch cushions off and build a fort. They want to reinact superhero battles with toys– where the toys fly and beat each other up. They want to get on the floor and wrestle, tackle, or tickle whomever chooses to put themselves on the floor.
Boys are different, and have energy that needs to be harnassed– instead we take that away and say that they need to be girls!
I definitely agree with you. Maybe you should foreward this article to Hilary? haha
However, what I can’t beleive is in your statistic at the bottom about how a five year old would take his/her own life! You could/should create a blog just about how warped our society is that a five year old would do such a thing. When I was five I barely knew my abc’s. I had not real concept of death, nor did I want or even worse KNOW how to kill myself.
A really good book about this is “Wild at Heart” I can’t remember who it is by right now, but it really explains the heart of men.
I have a son, and I worry alot about if I feminize him. He isn’t terribly active, or aggressive, so I wonder if I have already tempered him!? I hope not. Perhaps he is just gentle by nature, and some men are! But I do all I can to encourage masucline behavior from him… i hope i do enough.
Mrs. Meg Logan
My husband and I participated in our church’s Bringing Up Boys classes (by James Dobson). We have no sons, but wanted “in” anyway. We learned SO much, it’s well worth getting the book and reading. Dr. Dobson talks about how crucial the formative years are (7-10) and how studies have shown that it’s those particular years in which a boy decides whether or not he’s going to be masculine or feminine. (ie: homosexual or straight) It made dh and I sit up and take notice. Of course, he’s the kind of guy that wouldn’t allow me to dress a little boy in red…to him, red is a feminine color! :O) (Then again, he has red hair, so maybe he has that against it too!)
Flash–I know, that stat is amazing isn’t it? Very sad.
For another insight, observe how much “male bashing” goes on in popular television, even in commercials. Think of all the shows on TV, and all the movies …. which one portrays a worthwhile role model for boys to emulate? Where are the honor, the courage, and the respect? Couple the lack of popular role models with the lack of fathers in the home and you end of with boys who don’t even know what real manhood looks like because they have never seen it. How can a boy become what he has never seen?
Min,
Thanks for stoppping by the abandoned blog!
I am a professional Soldier and I can tell you to grow men you must start with wholesome boys – boys that tussle, roughhouse, sweat, yell, toss objects, kick footballs, roll trucks over, etc… that is totally appropriate behavior for little boys. Some of these little boys will grow up and hunt terrorists, arrest criminals, put out fires, man sips, fly jets, etc… and any investment in their TRUR manhood begins in childhood. GREAT topic.
Johnny
Oops, that should say “man ships” and TRUE manhood…
Yeh really! I am always seeing such bad things on TV.. I almost called a company to complain about a comercial and how it put down men as being so stupid. I ought to write a generic letter, and have spaces to make it unique, then I could send one to all the companies that have horrible examples of men in their commercials.
I don’t have any children, but it’s amazing to me how our society “raises” their children now. Boys and girls are different, will always be different, because that is how God made us. Not getting on a soapbox here, but God did that for a reason. We should not try to play God and undo what He has, in his wisdom, done.
If I had a little boy, I would let him climb trees, catch bugs, play in the dirt, build forts with my couch cushions, rip run through the house and the yard. Oh, the house would be a disaster, but he would be a little boy and not neutered.
Btw, thanks MInTheGap for stopping by my blog. 🙂
Virtuous Blonde and I were discussing last night how it seems that our oldest will wdo something organized for a while, but then just wants to be goofy or do some activity. Both of them have a point during the day where they just want to run around in circles. They get antsy when cooped up inside, and really love being able to run around outdoors.
God definitely did make us different, and it’s a good thing too! I think we’d be bored if we were all the same!
I dont think boys are being feminized any more than girls are being masculinized by playing professional sports. Boys will do what is in their nature with or without suggestion if left to grow unhindered and nurtured the same as girls.
I guess it’s the old nature/nurture discussion, Dave. I have to say that I would believe that any person, if treated a particular way, will (over time) become what they are molded to be unless they rebel.
Hello and thank you for your post.
I’m going to be upfront and honest. I’m writing this post because I feel very strongly about ADHD. You might or might not be interested at all but here me out.
A couple of years ago my little one was diagnosed with ADHD and thus began my journey for a search for a cure. 2 years later there is no ‘cure as such’ but there has been plenty of information that helped my child.
I would like to share this resource with you and your readers if you would be so kind as to allow me to.
Enough of my ranting, thank you for listening.
Who cares if a little boy wants to play with Barbies? Not all boys are agressive and want to climb trees…let kids be kids…And what’s wrong with being passive? This article is so stereotypical against feminism and gender roles in my opinion. If you all think we are all so different then lets all respect that.
It’s stereotypical against gender roles? I wasn’t really picking on passive boys, more on adults who automatically assume that an aggressive boy is a bad boy. If a boy doesn’t want to climb trees, then by all means he shouldn’t. My beef was with the whole idea that boys have to be like girls.
I think we agree on letting kids be kids. Maybe not so much on the feminism stuff! ;O)
In response to MintheGap’s first post.
I remember when I was a child. I would pull all the cushions off of my grandmother’s couch and build secret bases and tombs with them, and when I would go to my father’s house I would wrestle with my older step siblings. They are still recalling stories about tossing me into a door and me getting right back up to try and tackle them. I also remembering when I lived in Louisiana that I was always climbing the tree in my back yard with my best friend, and how we tried (failed miserably by the way) to build things out of pine cones and sticks. I also remember when I lived out in the country that I would spend all day long swimming in our pond, exploring the forest outside of our house, and trying to ride my bike all the way down to the big hill on our dirt road. Now, I’m going to assume this is what you would consider a wholesome boy’s life.
Of course, you want to hear the point of this story now. So hear it is. Men and women are not wired to act diffrently, it is society that ends of forcing them to be this way. My proof you ask. The story above with the added infomation that I am a girl. If men and women were wired to act a certain way. Then I would have become a girly girl the second my step dad forced me to wear dresses to church, or the first time I had to sit through and hour speech about how I’m not acting like a little girl should. If girls and boys were truly wired diffrently, people like me could not exist.
I don’t think that the “wiring” that I speak of is something that cannot be overcome– since the whole point of this article was that there is a concerted effort to turn boys into girls. What I am saying is that there is a natural predisposition towards characteristics which can be molded either way.
I find it hard to believe that such a wiring would not exist, since we are different beings with different physical and emotional plumbing. Regardless of how we are brought up, or or likes or dislikes, we will be wired differently.
But the point of my post is that I did not overcome wiring to be femine. That in fact, despite the best tries of those around me they could not get me to act like a typical girl, but instead I chose to act like a traditional boy.
Now I must conceed, there is probably some wiring to start out with, but this wiring is not split down gender lines. This wiring is decided by the parents genes and effects there male and female children equaly.
Ok, I did not get that from your first comment– I got that you were behaving in a certain way, but not that anyone was trying to do anything otherwise.
Certainly this is a good case for a nature vs. nurture discussion. You certainly had some influences that you either got ideas from or were encouraged in certain ways. I’m not saying that you did not have a choice in roll models, but are you prepared to say that you did not have any influences in your “boy” behavior– that you just came upon it yourself?
Loc, you make a good point that there are many girls who like to build forts, be active outside, like to rough-house, etc.
I have come to a conclusion that wasn’t apparent to me until i turned 40. The differences between the average man and the average woman, are far smaller than the variance among all women, and are fall smaller than the variance among all men.
So it’s not surprising that maybe the way you enjoy your life is closer to the “male norm” than to the “female norm”. I have met many women who are P.O.’d about their gender roles and put up with it, grudgingly. Then again, there are clearly some women who are so overtly feminine that any male with the same behavior would be beaten up and stuffed in a garbage can. In similar ways, I see men who are “soft sensitive types” and other men who are clearly “macho types”.
My point is, the natural difference between the average male and female is small enough ( in modern society, perhaps only about 10-20% of the average human’s life depends overtly on their sex, perhaps 80% of life experiences and behaviors are shared between both sexes – job, family life, etc.) Anyway, there is no need to yank one sex (males) in one direction (femininity). And there is no need to yank another sex (females) in another direction (masculinity). It’s just as harmful to male children as it would be to female children.
I think all feminists should just stop talking beucase its about as equal as its going to get unless your sprout a penis or some how we start reprodusing asexually. :sick:
Like many things, I think that the only way to truly be able to turn this around is a change of heart.
Discussions like this highlight the importance of training our children with the correct worldview– and what has happened in our schools with the humanist worldview being taught. It really is scary.
I’ve just read this article and feel strongly against it. I do not feel that schools are becoming feminized. Feminists are in fact trying to educate boys and girls in the same way so as to introduce balance in the roles of students lives. Why is it that young men are more likely to take their lives than young women? The response is that young men have been encouraged to hide their feelings. Men are not supposed to talk about that which is troubling them therefore in times of crisis they feel isolated. Is it not a positive measure that men are being encouraged to express themselves?
Ann-Marie, thanks for commenting. A couple of questions come from what you have to say.
First, doesn’t the effectiveness of educating boys and girls the same way depend on whether boys and girls are the same in the ways that they learn? I’ve heard many personal stories about how different it is to educate a boy versus a girl in homeschooling environments, and have boys I’ve seen that they are much more difficult to have sit and learn things.
You say that young men are more likely to take their lives than young women, but how do you link that into education? I would think that being forced to learn like a girl would place a lot of stress on a boy. If men are naturally competitive or learn in different ways, by trying to erase what makes them who they are, are you not forcing the exact outcome you seem to be trying to prevent?
Does displaying one’s feelings make one stronger or weaker? This one is a tough call. To some degree, I think that a lot of men are more bottled up than they need to be. On the flip side, though, if a man is going to anchor a family, to lead a family, then there are a lot of things that he is NOT going to be able to share (emotions wise) because he wants stability in the home.
Not that he shouldn’t build a relationship that he can share, but that he must learn when to share, what to share, and how to share it… And guys aren’t usually equipped to do this correctly. 🙂
I agree with u
these days everything has become anti male ,from Tv to schools are all filled with anti male propaganda.
But the problem is much worse .and i am afraid nothing can be donw to correct the forced extintion of Men.
lot has to do with our socity as a whole ,as we devlope in science we dont require muscle power to do task.thus the human race and the society are slowly evolving into a all female ….
what i am saying is that this is natural and will continue no matter what.
ROFL… OH OH OH LET ME GET OFF THE FLOOR… I seriously hope that last comment was a farce…. OH MY GOODNESS… WAAAHHHHAHAHHAA… too funny.
MML
Actually Mrs. Logan he may be closer to the truth than you think. While I don’t think we are going to evolve to reproduce asexualy or anything like that, I read an article awhile back (I’ve since lost it so I can’t give you a link) talking about how soon lesbians may be able to have their own children without the aid of a man. Scientist have been able to take the DNA from a womans bone and turn it into a sperm. The sperm is inviable as of the moment, but they think soon they will be able to make it work. Also, as the sperm will come from a woman it will have no Y chromosone and therefore all children made with this method will be female. If this method comes to be, men very well may become extinct or at least extremly rare.
Just my two cents.
>> Also, as the sperm will come from a woman it will have no Y chromosone and therefore all children made with this method will be female. If this method comes to be, men very well may become extinct or at least extremly rare.
hahaha too funny, this bboard must be using UNIX or something because the ‘
The leftwards arrow is taboo in these messages. I’m sick of having this stupid BBS lose TWO of my messages because they have a leftwards pointing arrow. never mind.
The first time that you leave a comment, the comment must be moderated. A message should have appeared telling you as such. You did not lose any comments that you keyed, as you can see.
I’m sorry for your bad experience.
Loc,
I would hardly call that “evolution”, first of all, and second of all, there is a HUGE difference between an inviable sperm cell and a viable one. Not to mention that in foreign countries like India, the babies which are most aborted are GIRLS.
It would be my guess that the End of Days would come before this sort of thing ever happened in any catastrophic way. Before men are “extinct” or “rare”.
Otherwise, surely the Lord would have prophesied it.
Mrs. Meg Logan
Shh! Don’t tell the feminists about this technology!
You know, there was an activist group who sought a similar ends… they wanted to fill the world with super-men… they used science to determine what super-humanity should look like and how it could be brought to fruition. They knew that their plan would be in the best interests of humankind and they knew they were doing the greatest good they could… greater good than anyone could have done before or even after. They were called Nazis.
Anyway, I’d like to throw in my two cents on feminism, unfortunately all I have is a $10,000 bill.
Feminism, by definition, seeks to empower women. It is not based upon the concept of equality as it claims, it is entirely one sided by it’s definition and design. The first precept to feminism is to accept the falsehood that women are oppressed in society as though it were fact.
It is because of this assumption and the lack of a male response that feminism has infiltrated every facet of modern society and corrupted it. But why didn’t men respond? They never saw it coming. And why? Because they didn’t know the Truth to begin with.
If you don’t know the Truth you will never recognize a lie when it is presented to you. You will accept that lie as truth. So, the enemy (Satan) has twisted a piece of truth just enough to turn it into a damaging lie. That truth? That all people should be treated fairly and decently. But a society that doesn’t know the Truth about what it means to treat people fairly and decently cannot make a sound judgement on how to do so. Therefore when a suggestion is pushed forward by a specific agenda, society has no SOLID GROUND to fall back on, and so it yields over time.
I took a Women’s Studies class in college. I was forced into it by circumstance. However because I didn’t know what it was REALLY about I figured I might learn something worth knowing and I attended this class I couldn’t drop.
Instead of studying about women, we were studying about feminism. I was told that because men speak more in the rest of the world, men would be asked to keep silent in THIS class. I was told that all white people are racist. This is because feminism is a sociopolitical movement that draws power through unity with other sociopolitical movements. I was told that all men are sexist.
I asked the teacher to explain HIMself and HE said he would in the next class. Next class, he still couldn’t find time to explain to me why I was a sexist and a racist and why I was told not to speak in his class. I left the class despite the fact that I couldn’t enroll in any other class because it was too late in the semester.
But women are the ones who are discriminated against in society.
That’s my two cents!
(Fortunately, and if you’d like to hear more about this, I will elaborate at another time, Christ has the power to heal ALL our wounds and He makes us stronger and healthier than we ever could have imagined.)
i strongly agree on this post. it doesn’t teach young boys to be gay or anything like that, to me it’s more of giving them a view on how to treat a girl