Should a young couple choose to delay becoming a parent? In some cases there seems to be a good financial as well as emotional reasons to do such, but this certainly wasn’t what we have done historically.
One of God’s commands to Noah and then to the children of Israel was to be fruitful and multiply. Children, until this past century, were not something that you could avoid if you want to be active in normal marital activities. Yet with the introduction of the pill and other means of preventing pregnancy, children have started being looked at as an expense rather than a blessing or a gift.
Indeed, in my own family alone, two of my siblings have stated that they will wait five years before having a child of their own. I don’t question their reasons, I just point them out to say that if it’s in my own family, you’ve probably come across it.
For my family, we enjoy having had our children while we were younger. I’m constantly computing how old I’ll be when our new one arrives, when she graduates high school, when she may get married. I don’t want to be too old to enjoy those times, too old to physically keep up with the older ones. To me, some of the memories that I want to have with my kids is playing sports or games that I won’t be too old to get around effectively when they’re just getting old enough to play.
There are other problems with delaying having children, as outlined in this post:
- Delaying children can help parents to get selfish– in that they have spent their entire lives together focusing on each other.
- The shock to the lifestyle of people who wait can be enormous since they have long ago gotten comfortable in their ways.
- The family bond can be weakened– as there is more of a gap between parent and child.
If you’re thinking (or someone you know is thinking) about delaying having children– pray about it, talk about it, and make sure that it’s what God wants you to do, not what society, culture, or your selfishness wants you to do. Be doing it for the right reasons.