Why is it that Families tend to have trouble once children grow up? Each generation has its own thoughts about what is good and what is not. I’m aware of many families that have different (sometimes radically different) ideas about everything from the number of children a family should have, to where the family should live (close to his family, close to hers, equidistant), to how the husband and wife will act with each other.
Bethanie brought this out in a post last week where she mentioned how she was just helping her husband by getting something for him as well as herself at her mother’s house and the mother spoke condescendingly of her action. I would respond that as long as she’s doing what the Lord wants her to be doing, her horizontal relationship with her spouse and her vertical relationship with God are her primary importance. And yet how do we show honor to our parents?
For one thing, we need to remember that they have wisdom that comes with time– we must take heed to consider what they have to say rather than ignore it. Honor says that we value your contribution and your love for us, but it does not mean we have to obey or agree.
But there also must be an understanding between the child and the parent so that the parent realizes that they are no longer the boss or head of the child. In this case, the daughter married a man who is now her head. She’s to be concerned about her relationship to him more than to her family. God said the two should be one flesh for a reason. You cannot operate as a whole if one part is constantly going the opposite direction as the other.
Families don’t have to be islands, and yet a majority are because we all have a desire to have our own way, and it’s hard to think of others (especially if they once were children in your house) as responsible adults that should have their decisions respected.