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Humans are a weird bunch, and I say this with myself included. We typically have a set of moral guidelines that we each keep, modify, and operate by. We also have a set of beliefs that we hold to, defend, argue, and proclaim.
The problem is that many times what we say and what we choose to do are two very different things.
I think that this had to be the background upon which Christ’s command “if you love me, keep my commandments” must have came from. It wasn’t enough to say that you love Him. It had to be shown—because we all know that actions speak louder than words.
So, it’s with great sadness and yet understanding that I happened upon a page of stories that talked about women that were anti-abortion, except when it came to them. Things like:
“I have done several abortions on women who have regularly picketed my clinics, including a 16 year old schoolgirl who came back to picket the day after her abortion, about three years ago. During her whole stay at the clinic, we felt that she was not quite right, but there were no real warning bells. She insisted that the abortion was her idea and assured us that all was OK. She went through the procedure very smoothly and was discharged with no problems. A quite routine operation. Next morning she was with her mother and several school mates in front of the clinic with the usual anti posters and chants. It appears that she got the abortion she needed and still displayed the appropriate anti views expected of her by her parents, teachers, and peers.” (Physician, Australia)
The page tries to make the case that abortion needs to stay legal and safe, even for us “anti-choicers” because we’re a hypocritical and shallow bunch—spouting off that abortion should be illegal while having the procedure done.
What this says to me is somewhat different—that there are ladies standing on the picket line and protesting abortion that are there for reasons other than that it’s something that they truly believe.
Because if they truly believed it, they wouldn’t be having one.
Just like I believe that the Christian that truly believes that there is a Heaven and a Hell and that Christ is returning will be compelled to share as much, I believe that those that are truly against abortion would not have one. Each of these groups, though, has status, pressure and hangers-on, though. People that say that they believe it, but when it comes down to a situation where they have to make a choice, they show what they truly believe.
What is it that you believe? Are you sure that you truly believe it? Are you putting that belief into action?
This is a question that I’ve been bumping up against lately; it seems no matter how I try to avoid it, there it is again. I believe abortion is murder. I also believe you can catch more flies with honey.
The pro-lifer who protested abortion after getting one was a hypocrite.
What do we do about people who believe a fertilized egg is not a human? How do you argue with that logic?
My answer has always been that protestors are wasting their time and doing the wrong thing; abortions are considered a choice because this world is such an ugly, unfeeling place where children are just not welcome and struggling families are not supported. To truly fight abortion, we have to do everything in our power to make this world a better place, a place where a struggling 16 year old or a mom facing the burden of a disabled child can feel that she will have the help and love of her fellow people.
I’m not making excuses for abortion; I still think it is wrong and I stand by my convictions. But I think it’s time for activists to be a little more, well, active. To show some mercy to their fellow human beings. Take in a pregnant mother or a disabled child. Make this world a better place for people. Not add to the shouting and judgmentalism that we already have had enough of.
alicias last blog post..No Worries
This was a great post. I remember also “happening” upon that page a little while ago myself. It really struck me because it basically profiled stories of anti-abortion protestors who had abortions themselves and then went and protested abortion the next day.
Yes, it’s very hypocritical. And I’m not going to justify the behavior of these women but the Christian community has a tendency to be very judgemental. These women probably knew that most “Christians” would judge them for the fact that they were pregnant out of wedlock and the baby would be evidence over the fact that they had premarital sex. So they valued their shame and public reputation over the life of the unborn.
People in the Christian community should be more accepting of women who choose life despite the circumstances. Premarital sex is undoubtedly wrong, but there is no use crying over spilt milk and it’s useless for us to point the finger after the pregnancy already is. The least we can do is to offer these women love and care and refrain from being judgemental.
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@militarywifey: Of course you’re right here, militarywifey. I think that the CareNet group has done a good job of moving past judgment to supplying unwed mothers with places to stay and supplies.
I think it’s hard for Christians to remember that they were once like the people that they judge. But for the grace of God.
Once the baby’s there, treat both the mother and the baby– don’t leave the mother out. She knows what she has done, and she’s bearing a reminder of it every day. She needs support.
Great comments! My cousin got pregnant out of wedlock and my mom was really disgusted at how the pastor’s wife treated my cousin and the baby.
Then there was another girl at my parent’s church that got pregnant out of wedlock. She married the guy, but the pastor refused to marry them or allow them to be married in the church. She had been faithful to that church for 19 years. She messed up. Then I had to listen to my mom call me every week after that and tell how once again the pastor slipped something into his message about unwed mothers, premarital sex, etc. The girl learned from her mistake. She didn’t need to be beaten up. It’s really sad.
I suppose to them it’s ok to marry someone who has premarital sex, so long as they don’t get pregnant. Geez.
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@Thrifty Karen: We had the unfortunate case of two girls in my old church having babies out of wedlock– and I can’t say they were handled very well, but that’s another story. They both gave public apologies to the church, and one was suspended from being in the choir for a time, but both were allowed to be married in the church.
It’s tough. It’s such a public sin when the baby is involved. It seems we don’t do enough in the church to try to encourage teens not to get that close. And no, preaching sermons about how sex before marriage is a sin is not enough. We all know what happens when emotions get involved. We need to teach how not to pair up, or what techniques to use to prevent us from getting to the place where we have to make that kind of choice.
And then we have to show love to them after. Not approval of the sin, but love of the sinner. We need to lovingly encourage them to get right with God (repent), and then work at restoring fellowship.
It’s sad how the church can treat people– but that’s because they have the wrong view of who God is and the people He sent His Son to die for.
My husband has been a youth pastor for many years, and we’ve tried teaching the youth better than we were taught. Have you seen Pam Stenzel’s video “Sex Has a Price Tag”? It’s really good. I would definitely recommend it. There’s even a public school version. I think one of the series we did was “Good Sex”. I can’t remember the name of the other one. The series teach about STDs, peer pressure, the reasons girls give in, how to say no, how to keep yourself out of those situations, etc. I thought both series we used were pretty good. They definitely taught more than I was taught, which was basically “Don’t do it!”.
It is sad the way churches treat people. Definitely not a model of Christ’s love and forgiveness for us. It’s easy to see why people walk away from churches. Sometimes you just have to overlook all the crap because you know there’s good there. Thankfully, we’ve been blessed to attend some not-so-judgmental churches lately. They’re more about “how can we help you grow in your walk with Christ” than the other ones that seem to be, “Don’t mess up. We’ll kick you while you’re down.” I don’t think my parent’s church means to be that way, but they are. The self-righteous attitudes make me nauseous.
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@Thrifty Karen: It’s definitely a hard thing to show love. If you think about it, there are a bunch of people that have bound together in a church to seek after God– and people tend to like rules. The only thing I think that they like better than rules is knowing the rules better than others!
So, what you have is a bunch of people trying to be like God finding rules on how to please him and preaching those rules and teaching those rules, and not everyone is at the same level. It’s not to say the rules are wrong, but we were saved from the law and into grace.
It’s like Romans 14 says, there will be some that will choose to follow some rules because they believe it will please God– and some that know that there is liberty from those rules and they know that they are living to please God. The two groups should not be judging each other. (Of course we’re not talking clear sin issues here…)
We should be encouraging one another, and causing one another to produce good works. We should be picking up the fallen brother, dusting him off, and setting him back on the right trail. That means forgiving and forgetting how they got off the trail in the first place.