May 10, 2021

Save It For When You’re Married


In the movie Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, the two young children that live with their widower father are all excited because they feel that if their father kisses the lovely leading lady then “they’ll have to get married.”  Today, the leading lady and man move in together while he’s recovering from a divorce.

Our society has changed a lot over a couple of generations to the point that many of the things that we would expect to hear about self-control and decency we no longer hear.

It’s Nothing New

It’s not that these things didn’t go on before.  It’s not that there were not trysts, adultery, and pre-marital sex.  It still happened.  It’s just that it was expected and assumed that these things should happen after marriage vows had been said, and those vows were to be more permanent than they are today.

Carrie Prejean fell into the trap that many of our young people today are falling into when it comes to relationships.  She believed that she should be giving things to her boyfriend that should be reserved for her future husband.  The presence of this sex tape makes one wonder about what else happened in their relationship.

Finding a Mate

The drive to find a life long mate is something all young people go through.  Many of them will go to great lengths to keep the person that they are seeing attracted to them, and at any sign that the person might leave, they’ll do something more dramatic to keep them.  While it may not be the only reason, I’m sure that this is one of the biggest reasons for the teen pregnancy rate being what it is and these kinds of photographs and videos.

I think this shows part of the flaws of our current system of courtship—people naturally want a partner, they want someone to share their lives with.  They get invested in a person, and they want it to stay.  When one of those parties wants out, it creates a situation for manipulation.

Obviously, Carrie Prejean’s boyfriend could not be trusted as much as she trusted him.  She gave him something that he, in turn, used against her.

For Your Own Protection

I believe in the Bible, and that it states that there are clear boundaries as far as sex, nudity, and marriage goes.  I go further and believe that you should only invest emotionally in a person that you’ll eventually marry, and that once married you shouldn’t invest emotionally in any other.

That being said, I also believe that we would all be wise to hold back—to walk back from how far we’ve gone—because of what we’ve seen.  It is obvious to anyone watching that when a couple breaks up, everything that is personal is no longer treasured, and should the opportunity to humiliate or profit off of these personal things present itself, it will happen.

Therefore, I would suggest, practically, that distance should be kept from couples who don’t have a vow.  You should not be sharing space, your body or your emotions with someone that’s not committed to you.  Save it for when you’re married.

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