July 15, 2020

Send Jack Bauer to Gitmo

Yahoo news reports that Keifer Sutherland (AKA Jack Bauer on the hit television show 24) has been sentenced to serve 48 days in prison for a DUI arrest.

Personally, I think that there should be a deal struck where Keifer could serve fewer days, but has to serve them at Guantanamo Bay– where we’re storing our captured Al Queda terrorists. I also think, as part of this, that they should be playing 24 episodes around the clock so that when he shows up the terrorists would recognize him and automatically confess.

Of course, if this were the show, the question would more likely be how long until the President comes in to pardon Jack for all his crimes. I don’t think Keifer will be as lucky.

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14 thoughts on “Send Jack Bauer to Gitmo

  1. Funny, Min. I’d heard about his “situation” this morning at the gym. This is his 2nd DUI, so I’m sure what you proposed would correct any other disruptive behavior.

  2. This is a terrorist plot to frame Jack. He had to “go along with the plan” otherwise Chinese ninja agents would have killed his daughter. Cloie already has a satellite illegally positioned over his prison cell.

    On another note: The wooden background to this site has to GO!!! I do like the top red banner. 🙂

  3. It’s the first thing that came to mind– I mean, I’m sure he’ll get people asking for signatures in the county pen, why not send him where they can use the character?

  4. Maybe Fox is test marketing a new reality Jack Bauer 24 show. This new reality could finally solve some of life’s most important questions like when does Jack ever have time go to the bathroom? Never once in 5 seasons of a 24 hour window into his life has he ever gone to the bathroom!

    To Bonnie: :'( I am sooo hurt…(haha jk)

  5. On a point of order 🙂

    The people being held in Guantanamo bay have never been tried, and would be incapable now of mounting a fair defence. Therefore in legal doctrine they are innocent – not “captured al Qaeida terrorists”. Indeed many of them clearly had nothing to do with al Qaeida at all.

    At least we know that Kiefer Sutherland was guilty of a crime!

  6. Understood. Perhaps a more accurate rephrase would be to say that some of the captured detainees there are Al Queda terrorists that could confess, rather than saying that they all are.

    Oh, BTW– Nice to have you back, Stephen. We’ve missed you.

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