Is it possible that in the rush for equal rights, breaking the glass ceiling and equality of the sexes that we have lost something? Could that something be that real men have been destroyed?
We have been told through our education and socialization that the paternalistic society that we find ourselves in is bad. Then men dominated women and made them basically slaves was something that was a given in our history lessons. In order to make more palatable the idea that women and men were equals– the same in every way– the groundwork needed to be laid for guilt or browbeating men into submission.
And before I go on, let me say that the Bible commands that spouses be submissive to each other– there is a part about the woman being submissive to the man, but there’s also a command for the man to love the wife as God loved the church– He dies for it.
I would like to say that history in the patriarch community was much different than we know it. You see, if you do any studying of the Old Testament times, you will see that women played a vital role in the household, had a lot of responsibility and had a fulfilling life– even with a husband that ruled the house.
Just a couple of examples:
Look at the role that the Proverbs 31 wife played. She was a wife and mother, but she invested in real estate, she sewed, she took care of the family. By comparison it looks like her husband did not do very much, but her reputation made his family complete.
Look at Abigail. Here’s a woman that helped run her husband’s, Nabal’s, affairs and was instrumental in sparing him from David’s wrath.
In fact, all the examples of femininity in the Old Testament are a beauty to behold, and they had quite the influence on their man (think Adam and Eve).
And yet all of these couple realized that there was a natural order of things, and that there was a leader in the house (not someone who commands, but leads). We’ve lost something in our strive for equality. We’ve lost a relationship that seeks the best for the family and replaced it with a self-centered partnership. We talk about getting pre-nuputial agreements– just in case. We consider it ok to annul a vow or divorce a spouse because the situation becomes too difficult.
These situations would not be as prevalent if there was not the constant promotion of self to the detriment of everything else.