May 30, 2023

Does Sex or Pregnancy Equal Marriage?

I enjoy reading posts from all different points of view– ones that I agree with and ones I disagree with. Sometimes I don’t have an opinion, only an idea.

The topic I mention above, whether God considers premarital sex equal to two people getting married, is something that I had heard when I was a teen, but I’ve never really come to an conviction. When Tim Challies wrote an article on the topic, I read it, and it opened the concept in my head anew.

Here’s his post on the subject:

If you didn’t take the time to read it, basically Challies’ main argument in against the concept that sex = marriage is that he believes that marriage is about the commitment between the two individuals– the vows before God and man. Absent these vows, premarital sex is still sin even if it results in a pregnancy or a baby.

Following this logic out, a pregnancy doesn’t necessitate a marriage, since the two were not a family1. However, you have to look to the Psalms and the New Testament to see anything remotely looking like a wedding ceremony, and when God created Adam and Eve we see nothing that looks like a commitment ceremony.

But then I could argue that someone that has sex with multiple women– does that make him a polygamist? How about when Judah gives a child to his daughter in law– was he now her husband?

I’m still unclear here– but I believe a few things are certain:

  • Sex outside of a heterosexual marriage is called fornication in the Bible
  • Sex with a married person is adultery
  • So according to the Bible, the only place for sex and children is in a monogamous, heterosexual marriage.

What are your thoughts?

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  1. Challies/Piper’s argument is actually more complex, because one person is a believer and the other is not, and the question that is being asked is should you violate unequally yoked for a child; however, his argument stands regardless []

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