It is harder, I believe, to pin down exactly what you can do to love a wife simply because love takes so many different forms and is very different per individual. Respect is something that there is general agreement between men, with some minor discrepancies here and there, but showing love can certainly differ. So, while I humbly submit this list, I do so with the disclaimer that “your mileage may vary,” meaning it will be different depending on the woman. There are no guarantees and batteries are never included.
I could write a whole article simply on the topic of communication. Women are typically better communicators on multiple levels. Men typically like to solve things internally. You can easily show love to your wife by simply getting involved in it, by giving her a sounding board for what she’s thinking and talking back. You shouldn’t tune out, and you should pay attention! Here are some ideas how that plays out showing love to your wife.
- Start your morning by talking to her– even if it’s just “Good Morning”.
- End your day by giving her a kiss or telling her “Good night.”
- Pray together
- Spend time talking over the Bible together
- Spend time talking over what interests her.
- If she starts talking to you, no matter what it is about, stop what you’re doing and give her eye contact.
- If it’s her on the telephone, take the call.
- Mute the television if she comes in to talk with you– or turn it off.
- Send texts to your wife though out the day.
- Send your wife e-mails of things that you find through out the day.
- Make sure that all of your answers to her questions aren’t mumbles.
- Do not let a child interrupt you when you are talking with your wife.
- Leave your phone in the other room, or put it upside down on the table with the ringer off when you talk with your wife.
- Make sure that you vary the depths of your conversation.
- Make physical contact during communication.
You have to maintain physical contact– for both of your sakes. Whether it’s a playful touch or something more, physical touch helps create and maintain that bond. It’s something that you need to keep going.
- Make sure to make physical, non-sexual, contact often.
- Greet her with a kiss.
- Be the last one to let go in a hug.
- Make time to play with her hair.
- Surprise massages are great.
- If she like to be tickled…
- Get to know where she likes to be touched, and do it the right way.
- Hold her from behind.
- Dance together, even if you’re not that good.
- Cuddle Up the next time that you watch a movie.
- Hold her hand when driving in the car.
- Make sure that you (at least) go to bed or get up at the same time.
- Before sleeping, hold her.
- Hold her right after you wake up.
- Play with her hair.
Character could be defined as who you are when no one else is looking. How you behave toward your wife when people aren’t looking are just as important as when they are.
- Always tell the truth– in love.
- Talk about her to others in such a way that you want what you say to get back to her.
- Be accountable to her.
- Let her know when you get to where you’re going (if it’s not routine).
- If you’re going to be late, let her know– at least when you do.
- Always talk about her positively in front of the kids.
- Make sure to compliment her on her cooking/cleaning/etc.
- Keep your word– if you’re going to be somewhere or do something, then be there or do it.
- Keep your space organized.
- If you don’t know, say so.
- Make sure to speak kindly.
- Find the appropriate time to talk about difficult subjects.
- Be the same man in her presence as out of it.
- No female friends.
- Never go out to eat with just a female.
They say cleanliness is next to godliness. I’m not sure how that plays out in marriage, but there are some things a husband can do to show his wife he loves her in this area as well. Here we tackle cleanliness and how you look.
- Make sure that you’re clean– get that shower.
- Find a signature scent that she likes, and wear it often.
- Seat up or down doesn’t make a difference as much as whether or not you’re having trouble with your aim!
- Clean shaven or full beard, let her have a say.
- How’s your hairstyle, does she like it?
- When’s the last time that you’ve cut your nails?
- How much of your clothes do you still wear from when you were in high school? college?
- Have her look through your wardrobe for what she likes seeing you wear.
- Get rid clothes that she doesn’t like.
- Clean (or at least organize) the areas you are responsible for: your office, desk, garage.
- Help clean up the table.
- Help clean up after dinner.
- Help train the children to clean so she doesn’t have to do so much.
- Don’t make more work for her by trying to be helpful and clean something and then do a bad job at it!
- Refill things that you see need filling (soap dispenser, toilet tissue, etc.).
When you were trying to win her, you got creative. Whether it was notes, flowers, or surprises, you made sure that she knew that you loved her. Why did that stop?
- Write her a letter and send it from work– especially works when she gets the mail.
- Have flowers sent to her at work or home.
- Have an Edible Arrangement sent to her work or home.
- Leave notes around the house for her to find telling her that you love her.
- While at church, have a couple of girls tell your wife that the guy over there (pointing at you) thinks she’s beautiful. (Helps if they giggle/don’t know that you’re married.)
- Serenade her in front of the kids.
- Buy her pjs, some sparkling grape juice and chocolate– shut the door to the bedroom after the kids are tucked in… You can take it from here.
- Plan a date out without her knowing, and surprise her.
- Meet her for lunch.
- Make her her favorite meal– or the only one you know how to make– however that works out.
- Spend some time listening or watching your wedding together.
- Show your kids your wedding album and tell them about how much you loved their mother in front of her.
- Make her use those love coupons you made her/gave to her.
- If she’s been looking at something special for herself, find a way to make sure that she can get it.
- Give her the night off from the kids if at all possible.
They say that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. I have yet to find a woman that doesn’t like chocolate.
- Next time you’re at the grocery store, throw her favorite candy bar in the cart. Bonus points if she doesn’t realize you did it until you get home.
- Pick something out that you can make, and throw her out of the kitchen.
- Make something for her with the kids– don’t worry if it turns out poorly!
- Find out her favorite meals, and then pick out a restaurant to try that specializes in that food. Then you’ll know what to order for her!
- Whether it’s losing weight or strength training, be conscious of her goals, and encourage her it them.
- Never complain about what she makes, and pick out what you like about the thing.
- Encourage her enjoy the foods for which she has a weakness– in moderation.
- Watch a cooking show together.
- Offer to help cook.
- Offer to help clean up after cooking.
- Organize table preparation.
- Watch rug rats during food prep.
- Cook together– it can be a lot of fun.
- Eat the cookie dough raw together– live on the wild side.
- Share the same plate– just like Lady and the Tramp
Lastly, be clever. Think about how she loves you, because often that’s how she wants to be loved in return.
- She’s in the shower? Throw her towel in the dryer for a few minutes– gotta love a warm towel.
- She’s on the phone? Take the kids into a different room.
- She doesn’t like driving? Make sure that you drive whenever possible.
- She’s looking for direction? Be decisive and don’t make her wait.
- She looks down? Go give her a hug and just listen.
- She looks exhausted? Send her to bed!
- She’s had a bad day? Break out the chocolate, a movie or some ice cream.
- She needs a friend? Be there.
- She needs a lover? This one should be easy guys.
- She needs a tissue? By now you get the idea.
- You show her love, she’ll show you respect, and you’ll both grow together.
“Communication” by Mart1n
“Contact” by Mattox
“Character” by Ben Earwicker – Garrison Photography, Boise, ID – www.garrisonphoto.org
“Clean” by Sarah Laval and “Creative” by Jeremy_W_Osborne and “Clever” by Ed Garcia under Creative Commons.