A new reader wrote to me via Meebo and asked a question. I was not online at the time, so there was no way for me to respond, but here is the text:
I came across your website tonight after listening to a radio program today. I am a Christian and a member of a Baptist Church. I am aware in Eph. where it says “Husband’s love your wife as Christ loves the Church.” And women, submit yourselves unto your husbands” What I want to know is…. Does the Bible say that it’s the responsibility to support the wife? In a program I heard today on the radio, the Pastor said that a husband should make provisions for his wife (financially) for after his death, or he was not right with the Lord. He also said, that women who for whatever reason have become divorced, their children have a responsibility to provide for their mother. I am asking this question because my husband and I greatly differ on this subject. We have been married for many years, but were briefly divorced and remarried to each other. He is firm minded on NOT leaving me his investments upon his death. He is willing to leave me his life insurance which is now only $60,000 and lessens by $5,000 each [I assume there was more to the message, but here is where it ended.]
I know that in Biblical times where the wife did not have a job, it was the duty of the children to take care of the widows. The church also assumed part of the responsibility if there was no one to provide for her (see Acts 6 where the new Deacons were installed).
I know that in 1 Timothy 5, Paul states that if a man will not provide for his own, especially his family, he is worse than an infidel. But that doesn’t mention directly provision after death, and it is directed toward the believing husband.
So, I think that there’s solid ground to stand on that your husband should make provision for you in death, but there are pieces of the story missing. This is also how things default in different states– where wives have to actually waive rights to the total payout of 401k’s or related investments.
The question is, who does he plan on giving the money to, and why. My guess is that there’s more going on here, and that you both should seek out your Pastor to talk about what’s going on and why he desires to only give you his life insurance policy.